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View Full Version : Random Fits of Depression (TRIGGER WARNING)


Cognizant
February 15th, 2016, 05:11 AM
I kinda forget that I have an entire online community to vent to when I'm feeling shitty. Lol. But despite my future desire to be a physician or psychologist, I really don't know if this is normal.

I like to consider myself a humble person. I try to brush things off, or fight through them. But sometimes, I'll find myself feeling extremely anxious, depressed, and alone, seemingly out of nowhere.

One more sensitive time was for a week about a month ago. I got extremely depressed. Everything overwhelmed me. I woke up every morning that week feeling resentful.And while I didn't want to actually kill myself, I couldn't help but wondering what would happen if I drove off a cliff, or jumped from the San Mateo Bridge as I was driving home on it. I spent a lot of time thinking about who would care. The fit of depression caused me to impulsively quit my job on the spot, drop out of 2 classes at college, and lash out at someone I really liked. I cried a lot, and felt worthless the entire time.

But as sudden as I started feeling depressed, I just woke up one morning and felt fine. Like as if the past week had never happened. Now I understand that random fits of anxiety can occur especially if triggered by a specific event, but random fits going on for hours or days???

I probably sound really stupid but I don't know what is going on. My health insurance is fucked so I really don't want to see my doctor if I'm just being a crybaby.

Thunderstorm
February 15th, 2016, 10:13 PM
I'd like to think Depression is a pretty ambiguous illness. It's pretty unique to everyone. That being said, it should not obstruct your ability to function for days at a time.

When something like that happens, think: Why am I doing this? Why am I depressed? Why am I in a fit of rage? If no specific reason comes up then just calm down. It's a way of tricking yourself into thinking nothing is wrong.

And hey, we're here for you to vent. :)

Sheriff McGregor
February 16th, 2016, 04:00 AM
When everything starts piling up and becomes suffocating, write down your emotions. See if that calms you down next time.

Also have you tried the letter method? I find it helps a lot.

Fiction
February 16th, 2016, 07:44 AM
The real clue that you're not being a "crybaby" as you put it is how it made you behave If you're emotions are having that much of an impact on your everyday life, how can you just be being a "crybaby".

Lots of people when they're depressed think that they must be "making it up" or whatever, I know I was the same for a long time. The way I look at it though, when i'm feeling okay or happy, could I recreate how I felt when I was depressed. If he answer is no, then your emotions are out of control and you should seek help.

amgb
February 17th, 2016, 06:13 AM
You don't sound stupid at all, I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm glad you vented and I understand it's overwhelming. You don't have to ever feel like you can't vent things out because holding it inside, especially when you're extremely anxious and depressed, could make you feel a whole lot worse - I'm not so good at letting things out so I know how overwhelming it gets. Depression can come and go in random fits, I don't think it's abnormal. Everyone experiences depression differently. I'm sorry to hear that yours caused you to make those choices, don't blame yourself. Being depressed changes us and makes us do things we would never usually do. I don't understand exactly what triggers random fits of depression, but I think it's definitely worth talking to someone about if you want to know what's going on. Your doctor is there to help you, he/she will always be willing to do that no matter what you're going through. I think it's worth it because they'll be able to help you manage depression better, and I think it's best to talk to someone sooner rather than later. If you can manage depression in a way that lifts off a heap of the anxiety, you will be able to feel more okay with yourself. I hope you're feeling okay today :/

Girl876
April 10th, 2016, 01:10 PM
I kinda forget that I have an entire online community to vent to when I'm feeling shitty. Lol. But despite my future desire to be a physician or psychologist, I really don't know if this is normal.

I like to consider myself a humble person. I try to brush things off, or fight through them. But sometimes, I'll find myself feeling extremely anxious, depressed, and alone, seemingly out of nowhere.

One more sensitive time was for a week about a month ago. I got extremely depressed. Everything overwhelmed me. I woke up every morning that week feeling resentful.And while I didn't want to actually kill myself, I couldn't help but wondering what would happen if I drove off a cliff, or jumped from the San Mateo Bridge as I was driving home on it. I spent a lot of time thinking about who would care. The fit of depression caused me to impulsively quit my job on the spot, drop out of 2 classes at college, and lash out at someone I really liked. I cried a lot, and felt worthless the entire time.

But as sudden as I started feeling depressed, I just woke up one morning and felt fine. Like as if the past week had never happened. Now I understand that random fits of anxiety can occur especially if triggered by a specific event, but random fits going on for hours or days???

I probably sound really stupid but I don't know what is going on. My health insurance is fucked so I really don't want to see my doctor if I'm just being a crybaby.

If it helps, I can relate to you a lot. Everything you are feeling, everything you are experiencing is valid. You are not being a 'crybaby', and if you're sad and depressed please don't feel like you have to struggle through everything without talking to anyone. No one is going to think you're less of a person than before you felt like this, there's people who care about you and will want to make it better. Personally, I don't want anyone to suffer even if I've never met them.

Sometimes I wake up with a deep sadness in my chest and I feel like anything I do will be pointless and although I want to lie in bed, I feel restless and irritable. I feel so distant from everyone and I even push my friends away. I don't tell anyone anything. I think about how nice it would be to not think at all, how I would never have to worry again if I'm dead. I haven't considered committing suicide but when it gets so overwhelming and I'm feeling so alone and powerless I just can't help thinking I would like to fall asleep for a little. However, I will always want to wake back up.

I really hope you start feeling better. :)