View Full Version : Torn; Don't know what to do

February 10th, 2016, 03:32 PM
I'm not the one having a mental crisis, my friend is. Actually, I guess they're contagious, cause I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out. Basically, my friend told me something very dark he hasn't told many other people, I don't know if his family even knows.

He thinks about killing people. He also said that if someone pissed him off enough he would be tempted to kill them.

What a secret to confide in me.

Talked to my psychologist, who can do nothing concerning him. She did however tell me to talk to an adult that knows us both well. Now, I already have that figured out, but this is where my mental crisis comes in,

I am so scared of ruining our friendship, he is such an amazing guy. I already promised I wouldn't tell anybody, but I've become aware of what will happen if I don't tell anyone. He won't get help, he'll end up hurting someone, he'll kill himself in jail and I'll have blood on my hands for not doing anything. Then I really won't see him ever again.

I want him to get help badly, but as I said, i'm afraid he'll get mad and "unfriend" me. Advice please.

Sailor Mars
February 10th, 2016, 03:37 PM
Your friend needs serious help. Be it a psychologist, therapist, whatever, he needs to talk to someone. You're right, he is going to end up hurting someone and/or himself, and thats seriously not good. Try to convince him to talk to a psychiatrist and then take it from there.

February 11th, 2016, 06:58 AM
Sorry my reply is late... :/
When a friend is having a mental crisis, it is really stressful and it's okay to not know what to do. I've been in positions of friends going through a crisis and I know it's never pleasant, but I haven't been in your position so please don't take my advice unless it is something you're comfortable with and you feel it is right. My advice is to first tell someone about him and that you're seriously worried. I know some might think that it's better for a friend to know you might be telling someone about them, instead of having them find out later that you told someone without speaking to them beforehand. But what I'm worried about with that is; it's probably going to cause him a lot of anxiety and possibly, anger towards you. That's why I think you should get him help first. I don't want to scare you further, it's just I want you to think about what could happen if you take certain actions. I'm thinking about you and your friend's safety, and I want him to get help too. I think your psychologist's advice of telling an adult who knows both you and your friend really well, is a pretty good piece of advice. Getting him help, especially after you already promised him you'd keep things secret, will very much have a likely chance of getting him angry as well. He might even break the friendship off for a while. I know you're torn, you're internally conflicted. But you care about him so much, I know that too. He does seem like an amazing guy, he's just living in some very toxic thoughts and nobody wants him to stay like that. I do not want anything bad to happen to him. Also for the future - don't promise a friend you'll keep something a secret unless you're absolutely sure you can keep it.

You need to decide what is most important to you.

Do you want to try to help him and risk having him get really mad at you, or do you want to keep it a secret and risk having him continue down this path that could potentially cause some serious emotional/physical damage to the people around him later on?

The actions you choose to take will come from a heart that cares about a friend, so choose your actions carefully and everything will be okay. If things aren't okay, then it's not the end yet. Don't give up on your friend, he needs you. If and only if he ever lets go of the friendship from resentment and anger, wait it out - because later on he might just bring you back to him again~

The both of you will be alright; I believe this~

West Coast Sheriff
February 11th, 2016, 08:58 AM
He needs to talk to someone. Reason with him to see a therapist. If his parents ask, "what for?", he doesn't need to tell them the entirety of it all. If he won't seek help, you have to do what is best for HIM and tell an adult.

Do you care more about having him as a friend or his well being?