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Etcetera
February 10th, 2014, 09:20 AM
Okay, so I was going to a counselor for five years, and then we moved so I had to stop going (a year ago.)

I have a really long story, and a very painful past and present. To sum it up, I've been abused and I'm adopted now. Been through a lot of stuff, and I began self-harming in middle school. I told the school nurse after Christmas (because I've hid it all this time and knew I needed help) and she called my parents, I ended up at a recovery center. I've attempted suicide three times, and right now as of today I am 36 days clean from cutting (which is my record.) I relapsed beginning of January because a lot of stuff was going on and I was just at my breaking point. I have PTSD and a lot of anxiety issues, and a crap-ton of medical problems. It's a really long story, and it's destroying me on the inside. My parents are in denial about a lot of my issues and problems and think that I am making it up or that if they ignore it long enough that it will just go away.

But anyway, this afternoon we are supposed to be meeting with a counselor guy and he's already met with my parents but now he's going to meet with me so he can point us to the right counselor.

I don't know what all I should tell him, you know? Because (1) I don't know if my parents will be in there. (2) I know that I need help, so I need to tell a lot of stuff, but I just... it's hard to trust someone I just met.

Gumleaf
February 10th, 2014, 05:13 PM
That seems like a difficult spot to be put in. A few years ago I was put in a similar spot and saw a potential therapist and my parents were there. What I did, was sort of give an overview of things but leave out the dirty details. Basically telling the therapist that I did need help, but not go into any specifics with my parents there. Now, I know every situation is different and stuff, but that could be a tactic to use if your parents are there or until you are more trusting of the person?

Etcetera
February 10th, 2014, 08:13 PM
Well, we did meet with him. It went okay, and I told him some stuff but didn't go into detail. They are going to get me a counselor. I need one.

Gumleaf
February 10th, 2014, 08:46 PM
Well, we did meet with him. It went okay, and I told him some stuff but didn't go into detail. They are going to get me a counselor. I need one.

That's good to hear. I know you've been through so much so I hope this is a positive step for you. If you ever need to talk, pm me ok. I'll always be happy to listen.

Etcetera
February 10th, 2014, 10:43 PM
That's good to hear. I know you've been through so much so I hope this is a positive step for you. If you ever need to talk, pm me ok. I'll always be happy to listen.


I just hope I have a better turnout with this counselor. Whichever one I end up going to.

I went to one for 5 years and yeah she helped me some but not as much I don't think as she could have. She helped with my ADHD and organization, I went from D's and F's in school to B's and C's. When it came to my anxiety/depression/junk, she didn't offer me much help with it. She allowed me to just talk it out and stuff, and yeah that helps but when you suddenly stop being able to go to your counselor there goes talking, and she didn't give me any ways of coping with any of it. The trauma, depression, nothing. So now it's just eating me alive inside.

Also found out that my parents told the counselor that they were having "behavioral issues" with me. It's confusing to me, because I haven't had "behavioral issues" for a really long time. Now that I'm on ADHD medicines, it's not near as bad as it used to me. I have a feeling they are referring to whatever they took my phone and ipod for (which btw they took my electronics without even telling me why they were taking it from me.) At least, that's what I'm getting out of it. The only other issue I can think of is me having a boyfriend that they wont even give a chance.

Also, the counselor told me he wants me to journal when I feel like cutting so we can identify what emotions we are battling. But my mom has my journal because I can't even write in it without my mom stealing it and reading it. She goes through my room while I'm at school.

Gumleaf
February 10th, 2014, 11:07 PM
I just hope I have a better turnout with this counselor. Whichever one I end up going to.

I went to one for 5 years and yeah she helped me some but not as much I don't think as she could have. She helped with my ADHD and organization, I went from D's and F's in school to B's and C's. When it came to my anxiety/depression/junk, she didn't offer me much help with it. She allowed me to just talk it out and stuff, and yeah that helps but when you suddenly stop being able to go to your counselor there goes talking, and she didn't give me any ways of coping with any of it. The trauma, depression, nothing. So now it's just eating me alive inside.

Also found out that my parents told the counselor that they were having "behavioral issues" with me. It's confusing to me, because I haven't had "behavioral issues" for a really long time. Now that I'm on ADHD medicines, it's not near as bad as it used to me. I have a feeling they are referring to whatever they took my phone and ipod for (which btw they took my electronics without even telling me why they were taking it from me.) At least, that's what I'm getting out of it. The only other issue I can think of is me having a boyfriend that they wont even give a chance.

Also, the counselor told me he wants me to journal when I feel like cutting so we can identify what emotions we are battling. But my mom has my journal because I can't even write in it without my mom stealing it and reading it. She goes through my room while I'm at school.

Yeah, I understand about the difficulties of counsellors in that respect. I think what you said earlier is probably right, that your parents are in denial about what you are dealing with. Journaling is a good thing, and can I make a suggestion? Maybe get yourself a new journal, a very small one, and take it everywhere you go so nobody else can read it. The boyfriend thing must be frustrating, but if he is good for you, then I think you should tolerate this and continue to build your relationship. I'm sure you know this from past experience, but I just want to try and be reassuring, but take time and give your counsellor and yourself time to develop trust and then i'm sure you'll be able to build a platform to overcome this.

Etcetera
February 15th, 2014, 06:19 PM
Yeah, I understand about the difficulties of counsellors in that respect. I think what you said earlier is probably right, that your parents are in denial about what you are dealing with. Journaling is a good thing, and can I make a suggestion? Maybe get yourself a new journal, a very small one, and take it everywhere you go so nobody else can read it. The boyfriend thing must be frustrating, but if he is good for you, then I think you should tolerate this and continue to build your relationship. I'm sure you know this from past experience, but I just want to try and be reassuring, but take time and give your counsellor and yourself time to develop trust and then i'm sure you'll be able to build a platform to overcome this.


Well, I got me a new journal and it's small enough to fit in my back pocket and go everywhere with me, so I don't have to worry about mom reading it now.

I'm doing okay I guess. Had urges to cut yesterday but I used my rubber band that I wear all the time, so I made it. 42 days clean!

Gumleaf
February 15th, 2014, 08:31 PM
Well, I got me a new journal and it's small enough to fit in my back pocket and go everywhere with me, so I don't have to worry about mom reading it now.

I'm doing okay I guess. Had urges to cut yesterday but I used my rubber band that I wear all the time, so I made it. 42 days clean!

Nice, I'm glad you've been able to do that. It's hard to open up when you think someone else might read your thoughts. Well done on 42 days, you're doing awesome! :)

Etcetera
February 15th, 2014, 11:22 PM
Nice, I'm glad you've been able to do that. It's hard to open up when you think someone else might read your thoughts. Well done on 42 days, you're doing awesome! :)

That's my biggest record in several years.

Gumleaf
February 15th, 2014, 11:30 PM
That's my biggest record in several years.

Well that's something already to be positive about. I'm convinced that you will make progress and things will get better for you. :)