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View Full Version : I did it, guys.


unknownuser
January 4th, 2016, 06:19 PM
Called the cops on my mom last night and they took her away. I'm not sure for how long yet.

I've struggled with very heavy emotional abuse from her for as long as I can remember. Occasionally, it got physical. It got really bad for me around 14/15, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, I was sympathizing with the abuser- she was my mom (some of you old members might remember me asking for advice). Now, I'm 20 and I did what had to be done. I sucked it up and did it, I made the call. I have multiple wounds from last night to prove it, so without a doubt she will be found guilty for battery. Not to mention all the invisible emotional and self-esteem issues I deal with, that's a whole other story.

I tore my family apart with that call last night. I may have to leave home and never show my face again... soon. Cut off absolutely all ties. But at least I stood up for myself and took a step toward making things better for myself. I'll probably be homeless and need to resort to couch surfing and sleeping in my car for awhile, but I feel that enduring these pains and challenges will be worth it and make me a stronger person.

I feel relieved on one side that I did this, but on the other hand, I opened up a whole bunch of new problems for myself. I'd like to think that the decision I made was a good one.

Here's to a new start.

thatgothgirluknow
January 4th, 2016, 06:26 PM
wow you where brave to do that i did that once with my mom because of physical abuse but she was only gone about a day since she scared my sister into withdrawing her witness but im still glad i did it it was a very hard thing for me i hope it goes beter for you but either way im here for you if you need to talk

Deleted User
January 4th, 2016, 10:02 PM
I'm both proud and very sorry. I know how difficult this is. But, at 20, you're now old enough to know exactly how a lot of this will unfold and you'll have the tools to cope with it.

Early in 2015, I finally stood up to my abuser and by the end of the year, I won. It was emotionally taxing, I lost half my family in the process, but the man involved also lost a daughter and it was his own fault. So I feel sorrier for him than for myself. There's nothing anyone can say to make it feel better to have to stand up against a parent like this, I know. They're meant to love and protect you but... some people just can't. And sometimes you have to take a stand for yourself and for them. Maybe one day she'll learn the severity of the things she's done or maybe she won't. But it's a step in that direction. The rest in the meantime will be really hard but you just did the most difficult thing: speaking up.

I hope everything is at least okay and if you ever need to talk, I'm around. :hug:

Dalcourt
January 4th, 2016, 11:10 PM
That was very brave. I know it is very hard and I can't seem myself doing this in near future but I admire everyone who finally finds the strength.

I wish you all the best for your future.

Bontigo Papi .
January 5th, 2016, 04:12 AM
Dude , you have nothing to feel bad about , you're really brave to do that , and it wouldve been the best thing to do , don't you think what would happen if you were to fight back ? I mean, I really see it angered you , made you feel bad and that is the stuff that makes people angry and they release the anger by fighting .

You could have hurt your mom, maybe even kill her if you didn't make that call , if your family wants nothing to do with you, you still have 10 000+ members who support you mate .

Microcosm
January 5th, 2016, 04:00 PM
unknownuser,

While this is the first time I have heard your story, I can still appreciate the fact that you stood up to abuse. You are an inspiration to others on this forum experiencing similar difficulties.

For what it's worth, I think you did exactly the right thing. You sacrificed one big problem that was ruining your life and causing you to suffer for a few smaller problems that will probably make you a better person in the end.

kev1998
April 30th, 2016, 01:01 AM
That had to be a tough decision. I have never been in a situation like that and can't imagine how you are feeling right now.

bfldworker
May 7th, 2016, 11:14 PM
My father went through that after my grandparent divorced. She became a pill popping raging alcoholic. She tried to slit his throat for not getting her beer, tried to run him over and a few other things. He still has issues dealing with it even though she died in 1999. The pain will not go away. But you learn to deal with it.

JohnJack
May 17th, 2016, 06:14 PM
Wow, I'm glad you had the courage to overcome the conflicting emotions that I'm sure came with making this decision since she was your mom. You might want to consider embracing any family members who support your decision though. They might be great people to help you through life in ways that your mom was not doing. I'm glad some justice will be served in the situation and I hope you can come out of this stronger.

Stronk Serb
May 19th, 2016, 09:51 AM
Okay, try to find a place to stay and a job that will support you. Any friend or family that will support you is greatly appreciated. Stay strong.

Just JT
May 19th, 2016, 01:15 PM
This was the OP's last post in VT from last January. Has anyone seen or heard from him sinse or know how he made out?
I'd hate to think something bad happened, he's been a member sinse 2011.

LRSSS02
May 19th, 2016, 04:16 PM
good for you at least you got justice

Supermeggs12
May 19th, 2016, 11:08 PM
Proud of you.

llamabanana
May 20th, 2016, 01:51 AM
This is great! you are an inspiration! I hope your life will get better soon... stay strong!

logan4sho
May 22nd, 2016, 01:27 PM
Called the cops on my mom last night and they took her away. I'm not sure for how long yet.

I've struggled with very heavy emotional abuse from her for as long as I can remember. Occasionally, it got physical. It got really bad for me around 14/15, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, I was sympathizing with the abuser- she was my mom (some of you old members might remember me asking for advice). Now, I'm 20 and I did what had to be done. I sucked it up and did it, I made the call. I have multiple wounds from last night to prove it, so without a doubt she will be found guilty for battery. Not to mention all the invisible emotional and self-esteem issues I deal with, that's a whole other story.

I tore my family apart with that call last night. I may have to leave home and never show my face again... soon. Cut off absolutely all ties. But at least I stood up for myself and took a step toward making things better for myself. I'll probably be homeless and need to resort to couch surfing and sleeping in my car for awhile, but I feel that enduring these pains and challenges will be worth it and make me a stronger person.

I feel relieved on one side that I did this, but on the other hand, I opened up a whole bunch of new problems for myself. I'd like to think that the decision I made was a good one.

Here's to a new start.

HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unknownuser
May 24th, 2016, 12:55 AM
Thanks for the love and concern, guys. <3
TJreversed Hi there, I appreciate the concern, I'm still alive and well. And I'm a *her* actually. When I wrote this, I was in a super scared and panicked state. It took me a few months to really calm myself down and try to forget the incident. Things didn't go exactly as I thought they would... not necessarily better, not worse, just differently. So in a nutshell, I'm kinda back to where I started but the situation is a tiny bit better. I believe I managed to scare a little bit of sense into my mom because she watches herself and controls herself a bit better because she knows the police is just a phone call away and if she gets cited for a second incident, it would probably mean jail time and a lot of issues for her. And believe me, how nerve-wracking and scary it was when she first got out of jail, my lord, I was like a terrified rabbit- on guard and ready to bolt for my life. It isn't the greatest environment for sue, it still takes a large toll on me, but I'd like to say I'm managing well and planning my permanent leave. Emotionally I'm doing a bit better, I just keep on moving forward, it's the only thing I can do. What it came down to was leaving unprepared and risking the super high chance of eventually having to move back in VS buying myself some time, coming up with a plan, saving a lot of money, and being able to successfully move out and leave for good- to never have to come back. If I went with the first option, I could NOT handle having to come back home, defeated- I have too much pride to pull something like that. So I think waiting it out for a year until I finish college, just dealing with it, is the better option for me in the longer run. Then I leave without a word, never to come back, never show my face again. I've got a plan in play, money in my savings, I think I will be good to go. I crave freedom and being on my own so badly, to be free of all these constraints and negativity... that craving is what keeps me going from day to day. It gives me the optimism that things CAN and WILL get better. I just have to wait it out for a little bit until it can be completely mine for good.


And a sidenote to those dealing with abuse: I absolutely do NOT condone staying with your abuser. It is the best choice for me for me for now and I've built up an emotional wall to shield myself, but it definitely does take a toll on my happiness, self esteem, and well-being, it is not easy. BE SMART, BE PREPARED. If things take a turn for the worse, BE READY. Have essential items ready and on-hand, have somewhere to go, have someone (or an internet community) that will support you, have money saved, HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN IN PLACE. Know that you are strong enough to make the move, change begins with you. Coming from an internet stranger, I know it's not the most believable stuff, but know that you are loved, that I support and love every single one of you and believe in you. Your well-being, health, and safety are the most important things.

Just JT
May 24th, 2016, 05:44 AM
unknownuser thank you for getting back in touch and giving us an update. I'm glad things are heading in the right direction for you, even though it's a hard road, you will prevail.

I'm also no stranger to abuse, and what you say is true. There are no right correct, or good choices you need to male and everyone is different. The long term plan will almost always include short term goals you do not like but will need to do, and be very difficult and painful. So just keep your head down, tuck n roll, life's rough, get a helmit, the sun shines on the other side bro. :hugs:

Hit me up anytime you need to chat ok?

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 10:45 PM
I have to say, calling the police on your mom, even if she is abusive, is one of the hardest things in the world to do. But I am extremely proud of you for being brave enough to do the right thing. I know this is hard for you, but you did the right thing. You need to know that. I will always be here for you if you want to talk.
I'll pray for you too :)

Endeavour
October 21st, 2016, 02:05 AM
Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. :locked: