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Gerkku40
November 5th, 2015, 12:29 PM
So im in 8th grade now and I have a big problem that I basically cant live with. So in the middle of 7th grade I got a panic disorder that was horrible. I couldnt go to school and I lost my bestfriend. Panic attacks went away after few months but it left deep marks in me. So i had a good friend that i would go to every day and we played video games and stuff. But after the panic attacks i started to feel weird about him. Not like gay feelings but something was wrong. I got very anxious when he came near me and i could not be with him anymore because of it. I was so afraid that I was gay even though i love girls but I couldnt get my mind right. Now i lost my good friend and im in the same class with him and still i got very anxious
And i hated it. But now i still have the same problem and with my other friends and its killing my friendships. I dont want to be gay. I have a crush on a girl but i still feel weird. And in the start of 7th grade i had alot of girl buddys but now i have non. Please help me i cant live like this. Could you replay please im very depressed! Thanks

Salad_Baby
November 5th, 2015, 12:39 PM
What you're experiencing is very common for boys going through puberty - during puberty lots of guys sometimes feel as if they have an attraction towards met, either it be romantically or sexually, even though they may not 'truly' feel that way. It's perfectly natural, and by your account you do sounds straight - so if you're worrying that you're gay, you're most likely not. Hope this helps.

Gerkku40
November 5th, 2015, 01:55 PM
Yea like i know im not gay cause i see dreams about girls and stuff but still i cant go like this for few years. And my friend last year came purposely near cause he knew i would get anxious.

Salad_Baby
November 5th, 2015, 02:46 PM
Yea like i know im not gay cause i see dreams about girls and stuff but still i cant go like this for few years. And my friend last year came purposely near cause he knew i would get anxious.

So are you in need of help in terms of your anxiety or the fact that you're having 'odd' thoughts about guys? If it's the first one, maybe this is better suited over on the mental crisis forum.

Catholic Guy
November 5th, 2015, 02:57 PM
Why don't you want to be gay?

Miserabilia
November 5th, 2015, 03:03 PM
Hey! That sounds awful.

Since I'm and not anyone that I know of here aren't psychologist we can only guess.

To me it seems like you have a lot of anxiety which will seem like the death of you but it's normal at the start of puberty! Sometimes it will seem like life sucks like this.

Secondly, you seem to really repress any option of being gay! I'm not saying you are, but maybe your fear of being it is causing you to be anxious. If you're in a suppoertive envirement, just let go of all labels and judgement and especialy in a place like this that's filled with people who don't even know their sexuality.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're truly straight and anxious because maybe homophobic people in your life, like maybe your friends.

That's just the cause of the anxiety though. Anxiety itself can't just be fixed psychologicaly sadly! There's a lof of help and counseling available in most places and if you're ready you could try to see a doctor and have medication; because it seems like the anxiety has a lot of negative impact on your life.

Good luck!

wolf g
November 5th, 2015, 03:42 PM
i really can't help you with that sorry to hear that but i can't help you

Second Chance
November 5th, 2015, 05:00 PM
So im in 8th grade now and I have a big problem that I basically cant live with. So in the middle of 7th grade I got a panic disorder that was horrible. I couldnt go to school and I lost my bestfriend. Panic attacks went away after few months but it left deep marks in me. So i had a good friend that i would go to every day and we played video games and stuff. But after the panic attacks i started to feel weird about him. Not like gay feelings but something was wrong. I got very anxious when he came near me and i could not be with him anymore because of it. I was so afraid that I was gay even though i love girls but I couldnt get my mind right. Now i lost my good friend and im in the same class with him and still i got very anxious
And i hated it. But now i still have the same problem and with my other friends and its killing my friendships. I dont want to be gay. I have a crush on a girl but i still feel weird. And in the start of 7th grade i had alot of girl buddys but now i have non. Please help me i cant live like this. Could you replay please im very depressed! Thanks

A big part of puberty is hormones, and there are going to be times when you might find things on people of the same sex attractive which does not necessarily mean that you are a homosexual. I think your basic problem is that you're overthinking things to the point that you are building a wall between you and others. Chances are puberty hit you like a brick wall, and you are getting all sorts of feelings and going through all sorts of changes at once which is tough.

My suggestion is that you talk things out with a trusted adult or a school counselor because you need to get a handle on this for the sake of not being isolated in school. You need to have friends and not be alone, and you should try to make up with your friends so that you all don't drift apart. Many times talking things out with a counselor will go a long way to making sure you stay grounded.

In short, in the off chance you turn out to be gay, then remember that it does not make you a mutant or a freak. Most gay people are just like anyone else, and you would never know that they were gay unless they tell you. Just accept yourself for who you are, and accept people as friends. If you find their body attractive, then that's just puberty, and you will get past that by the time you're in high school. You're just new to puberty now, and once you get a handle on your sexuality, then you'll be fine.

northy
November 5th, 2015, 05:42 PM
Why don't you want to be gay?



Probably the same reasons that others don't. Prejudice, inequality, abuse, not being "normal" etc. I don't want to be gay either but none of us get a choice!

SillyShyGuy
November 5th, 2015, 08:18 PM
It is normal to experience something out of the ordinary. You need to embrace that it happened, and do not be afraid of it. I nearly fainted in class once because I am afraid of blood. The teacher started talking about the blood drive. Then I thought about needles, blood, and blood bags. It caused me to sweat rapidly and see dark spots in my vision. I was feeling dizzy and everything was shaking. So it is normal to experience something strange. Everybody is different. I say do not let it get you down and talk to this girl

SethfromMI
November 5th, 2015, 08:22 PM
you know it is possible to like girls and guys right? it is called being bi or even just being attracted to both

Jinglebottom
November 5th, 2015, 08:32 PM
you know it is possible to like girls and guys right? it is called being bi or even just being attracted to both
^^ a lot of us are bi here. There's nothing wrong with it.

SethfromMI
November 5th, 2015, 08:35 PM
^^ a lot of us are bi here. There's nothing wrong with it.

exactly. and to the op, it is possible you are just going through a phase, maybe you are discovering something about yourself, this is not something you have to rush to figure out

Gerkku40
November 6th, 2015, 12:41 AM
Yea like i know im not gay cause just the thought of being with a man is so wrong like i dont get no feels about it only bad feels

And i have a pretty bad anxiety overall im afraid

Living For Love
November 6th, 2015, 04:43 PM
This thread and a similar one started by the OP on the Puberty 101 forums have been merged. Let's please avoid insulting other members/people.

Gerkku40
November 16th, 2015, 03:36 PM
But is there any to know your sexuality cause ive been battling with this shit for a year now and its takes so much from my life please any advice would be helpful

Miserabilia
November 16th, 2015, 04:24 PM
But is there any to know your sexuality cause ive been battling with this shit for a year now and its takes so much from my life please any advice would be helpful

I think the only real answer can be from yourself.
Don't force yourself into putting yourself into labels!
You can like everything about a gender yet not be sexualy attracted, or the other way around.

Sexuality is complicated.
You can choose to identify as gay, as bi, or straight. Or you can simply say you don't know yet, and just be brave and be open to any experience that comes your way.
You're still young, there's no way to know anything about yourself for sure.

Just don't beat yourself up. You might be gay; would that really be so bad?
Just explore yourself and find out as you grow up, if anybody is forcing you to label yourself as one of two extremes just ignore it, lie if you have to.

If you don't know, you don't know; there's nothing wrong with that.

Gerkku40
November 17th, 2015, 02:54 PM
It would be bad cause i dont men i already said that

I think the only real answer can be from yourself.
Don't force yourself into putting yourself into labels!
You can like everything about a gender yet not be sexualy attracted, or the other way around.

Sexuality is complicated.
You can choose to identify as gay, as bi, or straight. Or you can simply say you don't know yet, and just be brave and be open to any experience that comes your way.
You're still young, there's no way to know anything about yourself for sure.

Just don't beat yourself up. You might be gay; would that really be so bad?
Just explore yourself and find out as you grow up, if anybody is forcing you to label yourself as one of two extremes just ignore it, lie if you have to.

If you don't know, you don't know; there's nothing wrong with that.

Yea but this is so bad. It got me thinking of suicide. And thats hella scary:(

Dagoth Ur
December 12th, 2015, 09:07 PM
Best thing I could tell you would just be a rehash of everything already stated in above posts, my man. So don't worry.

You are so very young, and your hormones at this point in your life are just giving you these feelings. If you find it getting you down, just relax and focus on other things. You will find eventually what your sexuality is, so don't rush it. :)

Gerkku40
December 27th, 2015, 04:44 PM
Best thing I could tell you would just be a rehash of everything already stated in above posts, my man. So don't worry.

You are so very young, and your hormones at this point in your life are just giving you these feelings. If you find it getting you down, just relax and focus on other things. You will find eventually what your sexuality is, so don't rush it. :)

I dont want to rush it but its tearing me a part everyday and I cant do anything. I want to love girls and I watch girls and enjoy it but my feelings are so crazy Its horribly

Microcosm
December 27th, 2015, 04:52 PM
I dont want to rush it but its tearing me a part everyday and I cant do anything. I want to love girls and I watch girls and enjoy it but my feelings are so crazy Its horribly

If you want to love girls so bad, then do it. You need to stop worrying about your sexuality so much. It's one guy who is making you feel this way. It doesn't necessarily mean your gay.

What does it even matter whether you're gay or not anyways? Just love who you want to love and let it happen. Don't sit there and think it over a million times trying to rationalize it. Just live your life. These worries will only distract you from living a happy life and they'll do you no good. It's up to you to purge these worthless worries from your mind.

Gerkku40
February 9th, 2016, 11:46 AM
Well i dont care about the sexuality that much anymore but the bullying and stuff is getting worse.Or not bullying cause Its just a one guy. Its like we hate others but we still have to be friends you know. It feels like we had a big fight but we still act like we are friends even though we hate each other. All of my friends are going to a someones house and call some girls and stuff. Bu when i said im coming too the dude that i was talking about says. Are there too much people in the party? Its so hard to explain but its getting so freaking bad. I want to kill myself