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Lzst
October 15th, 2015, 05:35 PM
Hello, this is my first post on virtual teen, though i have been lurking for the past year or so.
After recent events i realised that my life so far has been quite a rollercoaster, many things have happened, many of which i regret. I decided that rather than sit on my own feeling sorry for myself i'd try to take what i've learned and try stop others from taking the same path I did.

About me:

Introduction:
I'm not going to say my proper name for security reasons so you can just call me lzst.
I'm 16 years old, i was raised by my mum and have been extremely fortunate with how i was raised.
My mum has always been able to give me and my older brother, a majority of what we've ever wanted. We live in a nice house, in one of very few areas around us where crime has a surprisingly low rate, we've been on many family holidays abroad. The list is too long to fit in a single post.

Coming from such a privileged background you might think "sounds quite good, I don't see what lzst has got to complain about?". Currently I am in a lost state of mind. I sit through college everyday wanting to get out and take something until i can't remember my own name. A dramatic change considering my background, right? It's all down to poor decisions made by me, many poor decisions.
I could easily blame my drug abuse and reliance on anything but being sober on peer pressure, the media or many other things... but its not them that have led me to this. I have made many conscious decisions towards this point and i have made myself this way.

Where it all started
Throughout high school I didn't care what people thought of me, I had long "emo" hair, i'd sit and play heavy metal out of my phone at lunches and i'd go home and play runescape. That was my life. At about the age of 13 whilst on facebook i saw a news article posted by a popular page about the effects of marijuana and how it "doesn't" damage the body or cause any harm. I was sat there bemused by this post, i'd always been raised on the idea that drugs were bad, doing drugs will kill you, yet this article had clear scientific proof that it was harmless?
Over time this interest in the risks of marijuana became more of a wonder. I wanted to try it for myself, i wanted to feel like "i could fly" and "be in love with everything" all from smoking a plant.. So that's what I did. In early 2014 after many years of contemplation and at the age of 15 I called up a family friend who openly admitted to me that he smoked it and me and my best friend pulled together 10 to get a ten bag. It was simple, all we had to do was give money to our friend and twenty minutes later we'd have this mind blowing, world altering drug. It went exactly as was planned and we got what we wanted. I'm not going to go into detail as to how it felt, but I did enjoy it and made me want to try what i can to further this new world I'd had my eyes opened to.

Fast forward to october 2014, me and my best friend have been smoking weed once every week / two weeks all year and we go to a party. Another friend asks if I can get him some weed and of course i say yes, we get the weed and we share it with him. Now, i will never advise anyone to take any drug, even if it is supposedly safe, but if you do I highly advise you never to smoke weed and drink. I made this mistake, I'd had allot to drink and shared a small joint with my friends. I stood up to walk back to the party (we were about 5 minutes down the road) and i blacked out. Completely. my friends had to carry me back to this party where i woke up to a crowd surrounding me with someone screaming "get him in the recovery position". I was in and out of conciousness all night. The next day i woke up happy to be alive. Looking back now i realise i could have been close to death because of this "amazing thing" that I'd been loving for the past 6/7 months. I should have stopped there.

March 2015, I was still smoking weed, not as regularly and not as much. I was still a bit careful after my incident but i didnt care. On the 26th of march i joined a gym. I swore that i would never touch a drug or anything else harmful to by body ever again, and i didnt... for about 2 months.

In may 2015 i got into a relationship with my ex girlfriend, and rather than go into detail about the ins and outs of it, we ended up being at each other all the time and the only thing holding us together was the sex. So i broke up with her just a week ago (start of october 2015 for those, possibly, reading this in the future)

october 2015:
I lied to her many times throughout out our 3/4 month relationship. I went out and did drugs and drank whenever i could with whoever i could and i would hide it from her like it didn't matter. My passion for drugs has spiralled from smoking weed with my best friend on occasions to getting off my face for 30 seconds off of a canister in my room whenever the house is empty.
I sicken myself in most things that i do, but i am content at the same time. I make decisions which i know can ruin my life, and i'm happy to make them. One of these decisions is to come up with somewhat of an agreement with my ex. We will meet most nights and do what we used to be so passionate about wherever we can.
My mindset has gone from a reasonable, well thought through one, to an anything goes "i don't care" approach and I recognise this. I am in no way happy with this, but i've come to accept it.

Now:
Last night i spent 20 on 50 canisters of laughing gas, all the money i have for this month is gone. I met up with my ex in a public, but very quite, hidden area.
Earlier today I got home and did a few balloons because I could.


From my experience i have found out many things, but one main thing that will always stick with me is this:
No matter who you are, no matter what background you are from, no matter how privileged you are, drugs will become and option at some point in your life. Having the ability to say no makes you a stronger person than i am

My life is a drug riddled, moneyless, sex-driven mess(ish). I have got myself here and i know i can get myself out.
I am not looking for support or any advice. I am wishing to share my knowledge on what i can, I am nobody special and i have no training in helping people in anyway, but I would hate to see anybody make the poor decisions i have and live the way i am now.



so please, feel free to ask questions on whatever you wish; my life, help with a situation, drugs and what not to do, anything that may interest you.
I will happily answer any and every question you have, wheteher it be via pm or a reply to this post.



Thankyou for reading this and please, do not even try drugs, you will regret it at some point.
I will add more detail to this post in the future, but for now it's too late so i'll post it, add some more and tidy it up tomorrow.

ps. if any mods believe this is in the wrong section or breaks any rules
please message me and I will do my best to sort it out, thankyou.

-lzst

Uniquemind
October 16th, 2015, 06:51 AM
Hello, this is my first post on virtual teen, though i have been lurking for the past year or so.
After recent events i realised that my life so far has been quite a rollercoaster, many things have happened, many of which i regret. I decided that rather than sit on my own feeling sorry for myself i'd try to take what i've learned and try stop others from taking the same path I did.

About me:

Introduction:
I'm not going to say my proper name for security reasons so you can just call me lzst.
I'm 16 years old, i was raised by my mum and have been extremely fortunate with how i was raised.
My mum has always been able to give me and my older brother, a majority of what we've ever wanted. We live in a nice house, in one of very few areas around us where crime has a surprisingly low rate, we've been on many family holidays abroad. The list is too long to fit in a single post.

Coming from such a privileged background you might think "sounds quite good, I don't see what lzst has got to complain about?". Currently I am in a lost state of mind. I sit through college everyday wanting to get out and take something until i can't remember my own name. A dramatic change considering my background, right? It's all down to poor decisions made by me, many poor decisions.
I could easily blame my drug abuse and reliance on anything but being sober on peer pressure, the media or many other things... but its not them that have led me to this. I have made many conscious decisions towards this point and i have made myself this way.

Where it all started
Throughout high school I didn't care what people thought of me, I had long "emo" hair, i'd sit and play heavy metal out of my phone at lunches and i'd go home and play runescape. That was my life. At about the age of 13 whilst on facebook i saw a news article posted by a popular page about the effects of marijuana and how it "doesn't" damage the body or cause any harm. I was sat there bemused by this post, i'd always been raised on the idea that drugs were bad, doing drugs will kill you, yet this article had clear scientific proof that it was harmless?
Over time this interest in the risks of marijuana became more of a wonder. I wanted to try it for myself, i wanted to feel like "i could fly" and "be in love with everything" all from smoking a plant.. So that's what I did. In early 2014 after many years of contemplation and at the age of 15 I called up a family friend who openly admitted to me that he smoked it and me and my best friend pulled together 10 to get a ten bag. It was simple, all we had to do was give money to our friend and twenty minutes later we'd have this mind blowing, world altering drug. It went exactly as was planned and we got what we wanted. I'm not going to go into detail as to how it felt, but I did enjoy it and made me want to try what i can to further this new world I'd had my eyes opened to.

Fast forward to october 2014, me and my best friend have been smoking weed once every week / two weeks all year and we go to a party. Another friend asks if I can get him some weed and of course i say yes, we get the weed and we share it with him. Now, i will never advise anyone to take any drug, even if it is supposedly safe, but if you do I highly advise you never to smoke weed and drink. I made this mistake, I'd had allot to drink and shared a small joint with my friends. I stood up to walk back to the party (we were about 5 minutes down the road) and i blacked out. Completely. my friends had to carry me back to this party where i woke up to a crowd surrounding me with someone screaming "get him in the recovery position". I was in and out of conciousness all night. The next day i woke up happy to be alive. Looking back now i realise i could have been close to death because of this "amazing thing" that I'd been loving for the past 6/7 months. I should have stopped there.

March 2015, I was still smoking weed, not as regularly and not as much. I was still a bit careful after my incident but i didnt care. On the 26th of march i joined a gym. I swore that i would never touch a drug or anything else harmful to by body ever again, and i didnt... for about 2 months.

In may 2015 i got into a relationship with my ex girlfriend, and rather than go into detail about the ins and outs of it, we ended up being at each other all the time and the only thing holding us together was the sex. So i broke up with her just a week ago (start of october 2015 for those, possibly, reading this in the future)

october 2015:
I lied to her many times throughout out our 3/4 month relationship. I went out and did drugs and drank whenever i could with whoever i could and i would hide it from her like it didn't matter. My passion for drugs has spiralled from smoking weed with my best friend on occasions to getting off my face for 30 seconds off of a canister in my room whenever the house is empty.
I sicken myself in most things that i do, but i am content at the same time. I make decisions which i know can ruin my life, and i'm happy to make them. One of these decisions is to come up with somewhat of an agreement with my ex. We will meet most nights and do what we used to be so passionate about wherever we can.
My mindset has gone from a reasonable, well thought through one, to an anything goes "i don't care" approach and I recognise this. I am in no way happy with this, but i've come to accept it.

Now:
Last night i spent 20 on 50 canisters of laughing gas, all the money i have for this month is gone. I met up with my ex in a public, but very quite, hidden area.
Earlier today I got home and did a few balloons because I could.


From my experience i have found out many things, but one main thing that will always stick with me is this:
No matter who you are, no matter what background you are from, no matter how privileged you are, drugs will become and option at some point in your life. Having the ability to say no makes you a stronger person than i am

My life is a drug riddled, moneyless, sex-driven mess(ish). I have got myself here and i know i can get myself out.
I am not looking for support or any advice. I am wishing to share my knowledge on what i can, I am nobody special and i have no training in helping people in anyway, but I would hate to see anybody make the poor decisions i have and live the way i am now.



so please, feel free to ask questions on whatever you wish; my life, help with a situation, drugs and what not to do, anything that may interest you.
I will happily answer any and every question you have, wheteher it be via pm or a reply to this post.



Thankyou for reading this and please, do not even try drugs, you will regret it at some point.
I will add more detail to this post in the future, but for now it's too late so i'll post it, add some more and tidy it up tomorrow.

ps. if any mods believe this is in the wrong section or breaks any rules
please message me and I will do my best to sort it out, thankyou.

-lzst

I'm anti-drug, and anti-alcohol.

But obviously we had the same "don't do drugs" education.

Obviously it failed you, so what in your judgement can be improved to the educational campaign so that it convinces people like your younger counterpart to NOT follow in your footsteps.


Is weed over demonized, and once experiencing it convinced you the educational messages were propaganda lies so you felt okay trying other substances?


Was your girlfriend aware or also part of the same drug culture? How was the relationship impacted?

Did your body become addicted to sensory sensations with sex on drugs to the point where sex off drugs was boring or dull?

How did you hide the drugs from your parents and what can you recommend parents do to detect their children's drug abuse habits?

Lzst
October 18th, 2015, 06:35 PM
I'm anti-drug, and anti-alcohol.

But obviously we had the same "don't do drugs" education.

Obviously it failed you, so what in your judgement can be improved to the educational campaign so that it convinces people like your younger counterpart to NOT follow in your footsteps.


Is weed over demonized, and once experiencing it convinced you the educational messages were propaganda lies so you felt okay trying other substances?


Was your girlfriend aware or also part of the same drug culture? How was the relationship impacted?

Did your body become addicted to sensory sensations with sex on drugs to the point where sex off drugs was boring or dull?

How did you hide the drugs from your parents and what can you recommend parents do to detect their children's drug abuse habits?

One way which would have changed it for me would have been to vary it, and although showing the truth will scare younger kids, be more blunt and realistic with it. When I was younger we'd go to school, be sat down and shown dramatisations of "real life stories" when people had died from drug abuse. Although it massively discouraged drug abuse, the fact it was a dramatisation didn't make it seem realistic.
If I were to be shown pictures, real pictures, of people in the situation that some of the people I know are in now it would scare me from drugs for life.

Yes. I felt weed was massively exaggerated. We're raised to believe that one joint will ruin your life yet it felt the complete opposite. It made me doubt what I'd been told about other drugs and substances.

She never associats with drugs, she had tried smoking weed once prior to us being together and wasn't wanting to try it again. She knew that I would smoke weed with friends every so often, but she didn't know the full extent of things. I should have been upfront and honest with her from the start, but I felt like I had to be the "perfect boyfriend" who was calm and stuck to the rules.
Although she didn't know about how much I would do / would spend. she would always have more money than me and (although I'd tell her she didn't have to) would buy me things if I didn't have money. Bus tickets, a snack. Nothing huge, but it's things i should be able to pay for myself, and she noticed it. She could tell I was spending money on things she didn't know about.

I would never have sex with her whilst on drugs. I never spent a second with her when I was on drugs. We had sex whilst (extremely) drunk but it was less than average :lol:
So no, drugs didn't effect our sex life or the way I treated sex with her.

If it was something small that didn't smell I just hid it in plain sight. Things such as the case I got for my beats headphones would be good for canisters and balloons. I've had that case on the side in my room for years, no reason for my mum to check it.
Another one is if I get anything that smells (marijuana) id put it in a tin (smoking tin, don't know the proper name) wrap it in a plastic bag or two then hide it somewhere outside in the garden where it's out the way and won't blow away. We never use the back garden or our barbeque, so I usually pinned the plastic bag down with a plank that's under the barbecue and keep the bag out of sight underneath it.
I think the only way for parents to be able to find things like this is to check. Keeping it within reason, just wondering how much money they have at the start and end of the week, what its been spent on.
One way which keeps me from doing anything is my best mates mum, he doesn't come out because he has no reason to come out. His mum will happily let him, me and whoever else claim the front room and do whatever we want all night. It allows her to keep an eye on us and make sure we're safe.
We find ways around it like sneaking into the garden once the parents have gone to bed, but I never feel the need to do anything whilst I'm there.

One last thing which can really help is parents talking to their children about drugs, rather than scaring them. If I felt like my mum wouldn't scream the house down if she caught me with something then I might have been meld open about things.
Hopefully that's cleared some stuff up for you

-Lzst