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View Full Version : Relapse after relapse.


carolinae
October 12th, 2015, 04:50 PM
I feel useless. Why am I not able to control myself? This... thing takes over me, and doesn't let go of my mind, until blood drips down my arms and legs. The worst part is knowing that I'm fully conscious. That the 'thing' is, in fact, myself. That I am not fully content until blisters form on my skin. My scalp is made up of bloody abrasions.

I think having scars is a great accomplishment, for the sole reason that they are what they are. Scars on my skin would mean I let the cuts heal, which would be a mirror of my emotional/mental health? I can't understand.

I can understand one thing, though. I can't make myself stop, and if I can't, what will become of me?

Abhorrence
October 12th, 2015, 05:11 PM
You're not able to control this because it is an addiction. Addictions are extremely hard to get over, especially when an addiction helps you to deal with such tough problems in your head. One of the main ways of stopping self-harm is to find either alternatives or distractions. Being distracted is now my way of stopping. I just go out and do everything I want to do or I work or I talk to my mum or something. I am never not doing anything. When I stop doing stuff I am left time to think and I want to cut. Just being distracted almost all of the time is good. Going out with friends is also good because you come back home often feeling still buzzed from the experience. Give it a go.

Aivis371LV
October 18th, 2015, 08:39 AM
Hi. Abhorrance is true!
That becomes addiction and it is realy hard to recover, but if you try then you will recover. If you fail and you need to do it again then you have to try harder and make new alternatives and disteractions.
Maybe sometimes youtube can help,there are lot of recovery channels that can help and they realy do. Maybe try that, but mainly you have to talk to someone about thing and they can help.