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View Full Version : my story and questions about sexual abuse


connorftw
January 16th, 2014, 09:29 PM
when i was 8 a bad person who im just going to call bob used to watch me when i got out of school for the day. bob was our neighbor and was nice person and i grew to trust bob. then things started to get weird. at first he just wanted to watch me pee and since i trusted him i let him. this continued and he would have me do things that all had to do with me peeing. then one day bob asked me to lay down in his bed with him. he pulled my clothes off and told me he just wanted to teach me about masurbation. the rest of what happened with bob im probably not allowed to go into detail with but if you really find it necessary read answers 80-86 in the survey i did here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2652554&postcount=1302). about 3 hours later it was time for me to go home and he told me if i ever told anyone about this he would do it again. the next day bob was gone and nobody knows where he went. the next few months were hard and i had a lot of nightmares about it. eventually my teacher noticed i was doing really bad with my school work and talked to my mom who got me to tell her what happened. after that i had to see some therapist for a few years. now i guess im better. i dont have any issues with masturbation and enjoy doing it. i still think about what happened that day with bob. everyday i think about it and i dont know if i will ever be able to forget about it. now my questions are...1-my doctor has told me i have adhd and insomnia. is this something that would be caused by all of this or have i had it all my life. 2-is this consider sexual abuse or rape? whats the difference? 3-is this something that i will eventually be able to forget or am i going to remember it like it just happened the rest of my life? 4-could the reason im gay be because of what happened? im pretty sure the answer is no but thought id ask anyways

AlexOnToast
January 17th, 2014, 04:57 AM
All I can say is that I'm sorry you had to go through all of that :( Hit me up if you need a tiny shoulder to cry on XD I've been through something sorta like this too..
Yes, it is considered sexual abuse.
Hopefully one day you might be able to overcome the memory, but what you cant let it do is define you as a person.
If you are gay, I dont think it's because of this. People don't just "turn"gay, it's a part of who you are like hair colour or skin tone. If you want someone to talk to, I', here m8 :)

connorftw
January 17th, 2014, 08:11 AM
All I can say is that I'm sorry you had to go through all of that :( Hit me up if you need a tiny shoulder to cry on XD I've been through something sorta like this too..
Yes, it is considered sexual abuse.
Hopefully one day you might be able to overcome the memory, but what you cant let it do is define you as a person.
If you are gay, I dont think it's because of this. People don't just "turn"gay, it's a part of who you are like hair colour or skin tone. If you want someone to talk to, I', here m8 :)

i dont know if you really want to give me your shoulder to cry on. i dont know if i will be able to stop crying once i start...

AlexOnToast
January 17th, 2014, 08:19 AM
i dont know if you really want to give me your shoulder to cry on. i dont know if i will be able to stop crying once i start...

Trust me, I know how you feel...I'm here if you want me no matter what :) I joined this site hoping to help people :)

connorftw
January 17th, 2014, 08:32 AM
Trust me, I know how you feel...I'm here if you want me no matter what :) I joined this site hoping to help people :)

if really will help me then thats great but last warning ive got a lot of built up emotions in me that might find there way out

Tarannosaurus
January 17th, 2014, 09:45 AM
when i was 8 a bad person who im just going to call bob used to watch me when i got out of school for the day. bob was our neighbor and was nice person and i grew to trust bob. then things started to get weird. at first he just wanted to watch me pee and since i trusted him i let him. this continued and he would have me do things that all had to do with me peeing. then one day bob asked me to lay down in his bed with him. he pulled my clothes off and told me he just wanted to teach me about masurbation. the rest of what happened with bob im probably not allowed to go into detail with but if you really find it necessary read answers 80-86 in the survey i did here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2652554&postcount=1302). about 3 hours later it was time for me to go home and he told me if i ever told anyone about this he would do it again. the next day bob was gone and nobody knows where he went. the next few months were hard and i had a lot of nightmares about it. eventually my teacher noticed i was doing really bad with my school work and talked to my mom who got me to tell her what happened. after that i had to see some therapist for a few years. now i guess im better. i dont have any issues with masturbation and enjoy doing it. i still think about what happened that day with bob. everyday i think about it and i dont know if i will ever be able to forget about it. now my questions are...1-my doctor has told me i have adhd and insomnia. is this something that would be caused by all of this or have i had it all my life. 2-is this consider sexual abuse or rape? whats the difference? 3-is this something that i will eventually be able to forget or am i going to remember it like it just happened the rest of my life? 4-could the reason im gay be because of what happened? im pretty sure the answer is no but thought id ask anyways

:hug:
1. I don't think that would be the cause, but it could be if your insomnia was fear of sleep due to nightmares (partly my cause of insomnia).
2. I would class it as both, sexual abuse is not necessarily rape but any sexual action.
3. I don't think you'll forget it.
4. No it wouldn't cause you to be gay.
Remember everyone on VT is here to help if you need to talk or just vent :)

Katiya
January 17th, 2014, 09:00 PM
Well rape is generally described as penitration or genetalia to genetalia contact including anal. Or oral sex. Or penetration with objects. The rest is molestation.

But it is all sexual abuse.

No it would not make you gay, no you won't forget but it gets better

connorftw
January 19th, 2014, 09:23 AM
thanks for the answers guys. ive talking with alex which has been helping. the flashbacks i keep getting however seem to be geeting worse which i really domt need right now

elmoc
January 19th, 2014, 10:19 AM
I'm sorry u had to endure that experience. I doubt that you will ever be able to forget it, but I think you do have the ability to determine how it effects your life.

The first step is talking about it, & you have already taken that step here on VT! I hope you will be able to get beyond the trauma of that experience & have a wonderful life.

connorftw
January 19th, 2014, 11:20 AM
thanks. talking with alex really has been helping me through all of this. i dont know where id be right now if it werent for him. i just really hope i can get these flashbacks to stop. i hate reliving that horrible moment over and over again

Cjk_20
January 20th, 2014, 11:12 AM
That's terrible. I am sorry that you had to experience that. However it is a good thing he is gone.