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View Full Version : Is child abuse justified if the parent spoils the child?


setsuna
January 14th, 2014, 02:13 PM
When I was five years old or maybe less, my mother, as punishment, sometimes told me that she "hates me". I remember one time, she hit me, or threatened to hit me, with a shoe or sandal.

She was a piano teacher, and she would sometimes take the time to teach me piano. I was REALLY nervous in front of her. Whenever I did something wrong several times, she would lose patience. Then I'd start crying. Then she'd ask me questions in a really condescending tone, like "why are you crying? Do you do this all the time, even with your real piano teacher?" One time I almost ran away from home after this happened.

I had a bet wetting problem, and my parents would sometimes forbid me from drinking water after a certain time in the dark, even if I was thirsty.

But my parents had good intentions. And they REALLY spoiled me, haha. Fortunately, I am an honorable and good person today. And they love me today. They are supportive with my OCD, and are always willing to listen.

But anyway, does this make up for abuse?

Body odah Man
January 14th, 2014, 02:36 PM
No offense but that's not really child abuse, that's more irascibility and irritability and the not being allowed to drink water was meant to stop u from wetting the bed I believe, not to dehydrate u or torture you. If they had done it to make you suffer and actually whipped you til u were bleeding or beat u to a pulp then it'd be child abuse. It just sounds like you have slightly over-demanding, easily annoyed parents.

And if this shit counts as child abuse then we have all become soft as a culture

setsuna
January 14th, 2014, 02:40 PM
Oh okay. Sorry about that. Yeah, I had some doubts when I was posting this as well.

I guess it's just that I am trying to look for a reason why I'm so messed up nowadays, with all my mental problems.

drmindfreak
January 14th, 2014, 03:49 PM
I think that's way far from child abuse, but telling you she hated it it's not like being very good at parenting either

Pulp501
January 14th, 2014, 10:53 PM
Not abuse.... But some of it just wasn't very nice

Romaana
January 14th, 2014, 11:05 PM
Nope, it's not abuse. Child abuse is named for practicaly any form of authority a parent uses in todays society not saying you said that just generally speaking.

ksdnfkfr
January 14th, 2014, 11:19 PM
Nope not hardly - just not the world's best parents

setsuna
January 14th, 2014, 11:28 PM
Here's what I think happened.

I'm on an obsessive quest right now to find out why I'm so messed up, ie why I have low self worth, why I'm self destructive, and why I have such severe OCD. I think I just got desperate, and started crying "abuse!" when really, nothing bad really happened.

Sorry about that. I won't post anything like this again.

Tarannosaurus
January 15th, 2014, 09:32 AM
Child abuse can never be justified. I don't think that in your situation it could be classed as child abuse, but it wasn't very nice either. However the reason they spoiled you might be because they felt sorry for their actions.

Body odah Man
January 15th, 2014, 02:13 PM
Here's what I think happened.

I'm on an obsessive quest right now to find out why I'm so messed up, ie why I have low self worth, why I'm self destructive, and why I have such severe OCD. I think I just got desperate, and started crying "abuse!" when really, nothing bad really happened.

Sorry about that. I won't post anything like this again.

No need to apologize-we don't blame you for posting it-least I don't. I'm just sayin it ain't abuse but it PROBABLY contributed to your low self worth and severe OCD due to a sort of psychological thing.

AlexOnToast
January 16th, 2014, 08:37 AM
Theres no need to apologise for posting this :) I would also say that perhaps it's not abuse but it could very well be a causing factor to your low self esteem and some of the oother problems

Katiya
January 17th, 2014, 09:27 PM
From what you wrote I would say its just bad parenting. But I don't know your parents. They already sound better than mine were.

However my parents would buy me things to shut me up. I'd take the physical fighting and extream emotional abuse because I was more than provided for. For example I would get called "worthless piece of shit" fucking monster" I wish you were never born" on a daily basis. Kicked out of the house at 3am with only PJs and no shoes and be forced to walk down the road in any weather, even freezing rain and suffered hypothermia after being soaked for 5 hours in the wind.

If any of that sounds at all familiar I'd say its abuse. Abuse can be emotional and verbal. But again its more trickery and vulgar names. Like I would be told to do something and I'd do it exactly as told and they I'd get severely punished for doing as I was told. I was also punished if I did not do as I was told. That was psychological abuse.

elmoc
January 19th, 2014, 09:34 AM
First, the OP has no reason to apologize. Asking the question is ALWAYS ok, IMO. I do think that what u experienced borders on emotional abuse. Sometimes, when people define child abuse, they limit it to physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as harmful. It effects self esteem, confidence, & social interactions. It often results in depression, which can certainly manifest as OCD, self harm, isolation, panic attacks, PTSD...and many other mental health issues.

I am very happy to hear that you have put this behind you & now have a good outlook on life.