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View Full Version : What's life like without anxiety?


Fiction
January 13th, 2014, 08:45 PM
I have just had conscious anxiety for the last few months and i'm getting to breaking to point. The anxiety has been about everything and anything but i'm constantly convinced my death is just around the corner.

I get my nose pierced- i'm convinced I have HIV.
I upset a friend- i'm convinced they're going to hunt me down and murder me.
I share a drink with someone- i'm convinced I have HIV.
I get on public transport Convinced everyone has a bomb.
I'm in any public place and i'm convinced someone has a gun.
I'm convinced every noise outside my window is a gunshot.
Slightet lump or pain anywhere is cancer... or a blood clot... or something else about to kill me

Crazy as it sounds sometimes i'm so scared of dying I want to kill myself. I am at the end of my tether and i just don't know what to do.

I'm better when i'm at home rather than at uni but that isn't an option. I'd disappoint everyone. And i'd be away from Kieran and the only reason I managed to get better last time was because of him.

I don't know what to do.

ksdnfkfr
January 13th, 2014, 09:47 PM
Im sure you know this is most likely a brain chemistry imbalance
and you need treatment for it.
Its no different then if you needed to be treated for diabetes or w/e.

Fiction
January 14th, 2014, 04:33 AM
I'm guessing you're from the US? Because you have no idea how difficult it is to get meds in this country what with the NHS. Plus in teenagers most anxiety and depression medications caused increased suicidality which with my past makes it even harder to get hold of.

I'm petrified of getting "help" in case they don't help and ignore me again like they did last time, because that only makes you feel even more hopeless.

Mohamed
January 14th, 2014, 09:50 AM
my cousin had EXACTLY the same problem and went to the hospital and after couple of weeks she has become completely normal .. would suggest to tell your parents about that and get a treatment it is not a big deal believe me

Fiction
January 16th, 2014, 04:57 PM
I don't live with my parents.... and since i'm a full consenting adult there is absolutely nothing that they can do.

I like I said i've been in therapy before so I know what it's like and it's the lack of help I got then that has really made me scared to go to the doctors again. When you're struggling to cope and you're told that they're not going to help you you seriously begin to wonder if you'll ever sort it out and that is a horrible feeling.

Tarannosaurus
January 16th, 2014, 06:02 PM
I'm guessing you're from the US? Because you have no idea how difficult it is to get meds in this country what with the NHS. Plus in teenagers most anxiety and depression medications caused increased suicidality which with my past makes it even harder to get hold of.

I'm petrified of getting "help" in case they don't help and ignore me again like they did last time, because that only makes you feel even more hopeless.

Yeah steer clear of meds they generally seem to cause more problems than they solve. Please consider trying to get help one more time, the same thing happened to me when I went looking for help in September, they said they'd contact me within a week about counselling and I never heard from them again. Two weeks ago I tried again and this time I was referred to a psychologist and counselor almost immediately. I have a lot of the same problems as you and I'm sorry to say that without trying for help they really can escalate. Just try one more time, go in with a list of everything that's been happening, its a lot easier than trying to describe it on the spot. Make sure they know how serious it is, that you went there because you really can't control it anymore. As you know there's no instant cure so it could take a few months. If you start therapy and it's making you worse, tell them so they can take that into account, don't suffer in silence. Good luck and I hope you get better :)

Harley Quinn
January 30th, 2014, 09:06 PM
Mental Crisis :arrow: Anxiety

thesurvivalist
January 30th, 2014, 09:16 PM
Sounds like you're paranoid about everything- Just accept the fact you could die any second you're alive. And in your dying moments, think of what you'd give, just to go back and live even your worst experiences again, just to be able to hold onto life, see the sights and hear the sounds. Let go of your paranoia and embrace the fact that you are alive; cherish it. You will feel free, I did when my anxiety disappeared.