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setsuna
January 11th, 2014, 07:32 PM
Growing up as a kid with Tourette's, OCD, a problem with bed-wetting, and a crappy relationship with my brother, I never had the best self esteem.

In Canada, grade 9 is the first year of high school. And what a year it was. I was known as a cheerful, really friendly guy. But near the end of grade 9, I suffered from more obsessions and self hate.

Then I thought, "next year, in grade 10, I'm gonna show everyone my true self."

For most of grade 10, I bullied two of my close friends. Our relationships suffered, but thankfully, they forgave me, and now I'm on good terms with both of them.

I called them names like "stupid, dumb, idiot" etc etc. I made fun of them so much.

I used my own self abuse and suffering as an excuse to mistreat others.

Of course, I suffered heavily AFTER I stopped my bullying ways, and I got what I deserved. Nowadays, I have trouble relating to other people, due to those things I suffered.

That's all I have to tell you guys. I just thought it was something you all had to know about me.

Katiya
January 12th, 2014, 02:05 AM
Thanks for sharing. Generally people bully because they have their own problems. Its just another way people cope. Some cut, some bully, some act out, some take up a sport and go at it. Everyone's different.

ksdnfkfr
January 12th, 2014, 02:31 AM
Thanks for sharing that.
That's an interesting perspective from the bully's pov.
I have a better understanding of it now.

Josef_
January 12th, 2014, 03:21 AM
Glad you grew out of that. Thanks for sharing :)

NeuroTiger
January 12th, 2014, 04:24 AM
Thanks for sharing! :)
All the best, dude.

AlexOnToast
January 12th, 2014, 10:39 AM
Great that you could come out and admit it, and it's always interesting to have a legit insight into the people who have actually bullied.
Thanks for sharing :)

Danny Phantom
January 12th, 2014, 11:59 AM
Growing up as a kid with Tourette's, OCD, a problem with bed-wetting, and a crappy relationship with my brother, I never had the best self esteem.

In Canada, grade 9 is the first year of high school. And what a year it was. I was known as a cheerful, really friendly guy. But near the end of grade 9, I suffered from more obsessions and self hate.

Then I thought, "next year, in grade 10, I'm gonna show everyone my true self."

For most of grade 10, I bullied two of my close friends. Our relationships suffered, but thankfully, they forgave me, and now I'm on good terms with both of them.

I called them names like "stupid, dumb, idiot" etc etc. I made fun of them so much.

I used my own self abuse and suffering as an excuse to mistreat others.

Of course, I suffered heavily AFTER I stopped my bullying ways, and I got what I deserved. Nowadays, I have trouble relating to other people, due to those things I suffered.

That's all I have to tell you guys. I just thought it was something you all had to know about me.

This is my life story in a nutshell. Except we suffered different ailments (I have OCD, ADD, possibly bipolar disorder, and I had bulimia.). I treat everyone in my life pretty badly (even my mum). It gets to me sometimes, but I don't know how to stop it. Stories like this give me hope that I will get through it myself and be my kind self again but I just don't know where to start.

setsuna
January 12th, 2014, 02:39 PM
Thanks for reading everyone.

Bully/abuse victims, I want your opinions. I am on good terms with my past victims, and they have forgiven me. They seem to be doing well in university. I want to know: if they have forgiven me, and if I have suffered probably more than enough since my bullying times, do I deserve to move forward and forgive myself?

fordgtguy
January 12th, 2014, 02:59 PM
Im in toronto and from gr 1 to about gr 6 i used too bully a lot of people i was always in fights and everything, when i went to gr 7 my dad finally started hitting me saying how do you like it now, ever since then i have never bullied again and always walk away from problems unless they do something to me that i have to defend myself which happens quite a lot on the subway downtown but whatever atleast im clean now.

chieko
January 13th, 2014, 05:18 AM
Bully/abuse victims, I want your opinions. I am on good terms with my past victims, and they have forgiven me. They seem to be doing well in university. I want to know: if they have forgiven me, and if I have suffered probably more than enough since my bullying times, do I deserve to move forward and forgive myself?

I was both a bully and an abused victim. I was bullied before by one of my classmates and was stabbed by a pencil. It caused me a lot of trauma to go to school so I didn't attend school the rest of that school year. When i came back, i swear to myself that i would be strong and never get treated that way again. I remember myself being so violent and aggressive, shoving kids who gets on my way. I had a really bad temper. Because of this, I lost the only friend i had. I did the same thing what was done to me before. Same things happened again. She refused to go to school because she was so afraid to see me, or maybe she just hated me so much. I felt so guilty because i didn't know something like that could be a big deal to her. I thought she was just over-reacting. I was even brought to the principal's office because of that. I just learned next year after that that she resumed going to school. Another next year came that I just learned that she transferred to another school, and I sincerely hope that i wasn't the reason why she left. I never thought that what happened could be something like a revenge of what was did to me by a bully, but up until now I never had the chance to ask for forgiveness from that girl.

Sometimes I wanted to know if she has forgiven me. But most of the time, I just want to forget about this past. Regarding the person who bullied me, I forgave him and we became really good friends. You've just said you're in a good terms with those people and they are doing well in the Uni, it means they have probably moved on themselves. Your bullying to them will just leave as a bitter memory. Some ppl who get bullied may feel insecure about themselves, they may even get sick and all that because its your fault. But to some point i guess you also made them stronger. Strong people just survives whatever happens.

You already suffered enough so you should just have to move on with your life as well and don't get stuck with those bullying times. You are not fundamentally a bad person and we all make big mistakes in life. You can't change the past but you can learn from it so let go of all those bad memories and start believing that you will be a better person from now on. What matters most is forgiving yourself :)