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View Full Version : Dealing with anger, need advice


setsuna
January 8th, 2014, 09:38 PM
Hi everyone,

Over the last ten years or so, my brother has been my bully. He's called me countless names, made fun of my friends, insulted my Tourette's, and acted like such an ungrateful loser towards my parents that I just hated him. My parents said that that's all typical brother behaviour, and that I shouldn't have been so upset about it.

Nowadays, he's an amiable young man. He truly regrets everything he did. We both get along really well.

But today, I'm getting such bad flashbacks. I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at the people who like him. You know, everyone from school thought he was a model student...he got good grades, was well liked by his peers and teachers, etc etc. He had a good record.

I cannot stop feeling angry towards his friends. I know some of his friends personally, and I'm thinking "if only they knew what he did to me...then he wouldn't be so popular. Then he wouldn't be so mentally secure. Then he wouldn't have the perfect little life he always had."

I have things to do. I don't have time to sit here and be angry all day and night. How can I cope? I've talked to some hotlines, I've talked to my parents...but nobody really seems to understand. They all talk about "forgiveness" and all that trash.

CabbageMedul
January 8th, 2014, 11:27 PM
I think I kinda know what you're getting at. I've been in similar situations, except not with siblings. Unfortunately I don't know how to cope with it either. Even if I had "Flashbacks" about the things that happened, they usually fade away over time, and my anger resides. Sorry for the lack of good advice.

I know how you feel though, and in what kind of situation you're in. It's not pleasant, and there's most likely nothing to do about it. I suppose the only thing you can do is keep your cool, and don't let it get to your head.

fordgtguy
January 9th, 2014, 12:00 AM
theres nothing really you can do just do things you like and try to forget about it

Pyrotheseus
January 9th, 2014, 12:02 AM
I'm kind of a jerk to my younger brother sometimes, and we always feel bad about it and apologize to each other whenever we hurt each other. I get that you hate that he had that perfect little life even though you didn't at the time because of him, but please try and let go of that, and wish nothing but the best for your brother, who i'm sure truly is sorry for what he's done to you. I can't stand MY brother being hurt, by me, or anyone else.

Tarannosaurus
February 5th, 2014, 05:09 PM
Your anger is understandable, but it's best not to bottle it up or you'll find it will all release at once. When you feel angry you could try calming methods such as meditation or breathing exercises, or release methods such as running/sport, writing, drawing, even screaming into a pillow. Hope this helps :) Remember you can always vent on here if you need to.

Melodic
February 7th, 2014, 05:17 PM
That is pretty normal to think that way, even after a person moves on and changes sometimes you do still see the person they were before. I'd honestly find a journal or something, and start writing in it each night. Everytime you have a flashback, just write in it. Every time you feel rage, write in it. You'll find that it releases all that stress overtime.