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View Full Version : What am I?


yviedarling
December 28th, 2013, 12:38 PM
I've always felt off. When I was little, I remember being convinced that I was adopted, even though no one ever said I was. I used to fantasize that my father was Satan, and I was just waiting for him to take me away. It's not like I was ever scared of it, it was actually kept me going as a child. I used to get really angry over little things, like my sheets not fitting on my bed, or my pillow being upside down, but when big things came (like finding out the man i was told my dad was actually just my stepdad), it didn't phase me at all. I could just shrug it off.

I mean, I guess that I could just pass it off as being a weird child, except recently, all that stuff is starting to come back. I never went to any therapists (my mom is against therapy), and the only person I've ever told is my best friend. I don't want to go back to thinking that way, because while Satan never scared me, just about every thing else does. (Mostly ghosts and demons and the like) When I say scared, I mean even the mention of a story you heard three years ago will keep me awake for days. I have no idea what's wrong with me, I just know I'm not normal.

EDIT: I am also constantly nervous. I don't know about what, but it just sort of spreads until I'm nervous about every single thing. I don't want to say hi to someone because I don't want them to be annoyed with me, I don't want to make dinner for everyone because I don't want them to hate it, I don't want to go outside because I don't want to get sick, I'm nervous about getting in a car because I could get in an accident and die, etc.