View Full Version : I kinda need help

October 20th, 2013, 04:20 AM
So, I'm 17 turning 18 in December. Basically lets start from the beginning ( bear with me guys)
Ever since I was a new born my parents dumped me off to my grandparents to be raised by aunts and my grandmother. Their reasons are busy with work or working overseas so its not convenient to raise a child........so why have me at all right? I only see them a couple of hours on the week ends, and I grew up thinking that it was completely normal for a family to be like that. When I started primary school, I realised it was completely not normal and I see parents of other kids kissing them goodbye on their first day of school meanwhile me and my brother were just dropped off and we have to be alone. They were never there for me, either of them. I tried to bond with them when I was younger, its ends up with, gift cards and gifts being tossed aside and forgotten or hardly even noticed. Eventually I stopped, and I stopped caring, because they don't care for me either. They missed graduations, birthdays, everything and anything. Happiness does not last forever, my grandmother passed away and my aunts started turning abusive, no matter how we tell my parents they turn a blind eye or they tell us to leave the situation alone. So my childhood has its ups and downs. Eventually my parents have to take me and my brother in and life was hell. No more freedom and privacy. Everything had to be on their schedule and benefits and no fun. Me and my brother suffered, it was like living in a prison, and I hardly had any friends because of their rules of not letting me out and socialise. My brother on the other hand was the bigger rebel, he managed and now he's off in another country not caring less about this fiasco because he was free of it. I used to have him around for support now he's gone I'm all alone, I come home to an empty home only to face pointless anger and frustration thrown at me by both the parents. Slowly my attitude change I stopped being the quiet one taking in the anger. I rebelled like I never had before, I stayed out in college till late and return home so I don't have to see their faces or speak to any of them. I felt much more relief that I don't have to go through shitty drama, but it pisses them off because I'm not following their pathetic schedule. I naturally crave love and care from anyone who comes along with it and I appreciate it may it be friends or a past boyfriend, I'm just glad I have the small moment to know that someone actually care although its not a permanent thing.
But I met my boyfriend online, we'll be celebrating our 4 months anniversary this coming 25th, he loves me a lot and I do so for him too. He too didn't have a bright childhood, his was even more terrible. He was never even wanted even before he was born! Right now he's living with his best friend's family and they are going to adopt him when he's turn 18 in February. He knows of my pain and he always comforts me and he gives me hope everyday. We talked about our plans, finishing our studies, me moving to his country (we're from different countries), getting our own home, settling down and getting married and starting our own family together. You may think its odd, two 18 year olds wanting to marry so early when they have their entire life ahead of them. But we know what we want and have really sat down and talked this through, we wanted this new start for the both of us. He wants to take me away from my hell so he can take care of me. We'll never give up on each other, we really do care for one another....and right now he's asking if he should take me away this summer or the next. I repeat my home never felt like home to me and its not getting any easier day by day. I'm done crying for the things I didn't do and I have enough bullshit from either parents, I needed this new start. What do you guys think any suggestions that may help?

Dark Unicorn
November 13th, 2013, 12:04 PM
First off let me just say that I'm terribly sorry to hear about your experiences and your current predicament.You most certainly are a strong person and I commend you highly for your bravery and power to endure.To be honest,18 is awfully young to get married.I know you feel right for each other but I think you should get to know each other more it being an internet relationship and all.I'm not judging and I hope you two find eternal happiness but many such stories end in pain and for your sake I think spend face time with each other and if he doesn't change stay and see where it takes you.These are just my thoughts.I so hope it turns out well for you.Think about what I said.Best wishes.If you find this in any way helpful and you want to talk more send me a VM or email actually,I realised I have that function that allows anyone here to e-mail me.Whichever you are comfortable with.