My own family hates me...

[Brian117]

it all started about a week ago, for the past week i have been so angry at everything. My anger is coming from my dad living here, im stressed out about him living here, my 25 year old sister still living at home, my 21 year old brother hating me to death, my mom not giving a crap about what I have to say, thats my whole family right there...My dad is 54 years old, and hes staying in our basement because he doesnt have any money. This is the dad I talk about in my "my life story" thread under this same catagory. My 25 year old sister is still living at home, I dont have my own room because of her, once she moves out, we can finally have an extra room for me. The funny thing is, she doesnt give a crap about me not having my own room when Im already 16 years old. Even 8 year olds have thier own room. So that makes me feel really left out from everybody else. My brother treats me like dirt, he never talks to me, never treats me like a brother. My mom never listens to a damn word I say about anything. Ok so, yesterday night, (wednesday) was our "family night", where we just go out to dinner and stuff. So we decided to go to this one resteraunt, but my stupid brother didnt want to drive when he always does. So hes telling my mom to drive, which really got me mad, because my mom has a bad knee. So since she didnt wanna drive that far to that resreraunt, she said "how bout we go somwhere close then" So I got pissed because I was looking forward to going there. So I stormed inside and ran in my moms room. I didnt want my mom driving because of her knee. So they all came inside and my brother comes in and says "thanks for runiing family night brian, you stupid retard." So that got me really depressed, then my sister went upstairs in her room, and then my dad walked up there to talk to her, and I over heard her saying "why does brian ruin my life, why does he ruin this whole family!" and I heard my dad say "shh i know, i know". So I went in a private place to blare some music on my ipod while crying and wishing a bullet would fly through the wall and go through my head. Everything was quiet and calm for the rest of the night. Then just tonight, my mom made tacos for us, then my sister came home from work, and the first words out of her mouth were "oh, are those tacos for the whole family or just for brian?", while I was sitting right there...so I wasnt hungry anymore after that, then later on, I asked my mom "why did she say that about me?" and my mom was like "aww brian just stop it! i mean it!" I was like..."what did I do?" and then shes like "cut the crap" so I just ran into my "private: place and cried again. My mom didnt give a crap about what my sister said to me. She doesnt care what goes on with me, what my brother does to me, how much stress my dad causes me. What do I do.......:(, people say suicide isnt the answer, but in my case, it is. I know I ruin this family and thier lives, and i feel terrible about that, but once I die, I mean, they'll be happy:) Ive lived on my own since 6 years old, that episode of Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, when wills dad tried to come back into his life, that epsiode is like my life right now, and always have been. So Im just wondering why I ruin peoples lives, thanks.

[thesphinx]

You are not ruining anyones life that is there problem not yours, and its your families problem that they don't appreciate you none of this is your problem your family has some serious issues.
Is there any way you could get them to come to Family Counseling or anything like that?
But don't ever feel inferior or less of a person because of this, like I said before if they can't appreciate you then there the ones missing out.

I wish you the Very best and please don't commit suicide it wont help them and it wont help you.

:hug: please feel free to talk to me ANYTIME.

[Shiver]

Thats almost exactly what i'm goin through right now and what you should do now is find someone to talk to sometimes its just best to let some steam out and also you should save your money and when things just get to bad leave and to a hotel or something for the night I know some people might say no don't do it but when i get that upset i wanna leave for awhile and i know you do to thats why you go to your private place or instead of leaving next time you feel like crying don't go to your private place do it where they can see how much your being hurt by them trust me running from your problems won't help in the long haul its a good relief for a day or so but eventually you have to face them

[glamgurl36]

everyones family's aren't perfect. thats a tough situation. hopefully you're sister and/or your dad will get back on their feet and get their own place as soon as possible...but for now, just try to make your self happy. easier said than done, but you can do it :)

[IAMSAM]

hey Brian. Pretty bad stuff, I know. Let's see what we can do.

I think one of the major problems here is that eventhough your anger/frustration/disgust/disappointment/depression (am I leaving anything out there?) are completely understandable, and maybe justifiable ...........Are completely confusing to your family. They see your reaction, they understand something is going on for you, but I highly doubt they actually understand it. Your task, Brian, is to make them understand you. And to do that, you might need to change your tactics.

Think about what it is that's bothering you, but think about it in adult terms. Think about how you can talk with them in their language. Adults speak differently, they use words, complete sentences even. Not actions and behaviors. You need to talk with them in their language so they can understand you. And you need to do this when you're all calm. Nothing gets accomplished when people are upset about something and fight. 'Winning' isn't defined as the one who hurts the other the most. The goal is for them to understand you. the 'winner' is the one who gets their point across. And there are definetly ways of accomplishing this successfully.

I'd suggest you find some time to do this, maybe we all can help you conceptualize what it is and come up with a good way to tell them. In the mean time, it might be a really good idea to not react to the stuff that's going on, just deal with it privately.

When you're ready, ask your folks if you can talk with them sometime about some serious things. Give them the heads up that you want to talk, so they can not only set aside some 'serious' time for you, but so they also know you're going to enter into this in a different way than you have before.

In the mean time, let's work on a list of things you want to discuss with them.

And, please, don't use the 'S' word, even jokingly. It's very disturbing, and it distracts us from finding a real fix to the real problem.

[Brian117]

Thansk people :(, sorry about using the "S" word, when your angry you use cuss words, well most people do >_>, and I accidently forgot to say something in my post, the part about my sister saying "is that for the whole family or just for brian", i forgot to leave out that im the chubby side, so yeah. they think i eat everything now I guess.:confused:, and I can never talk to my parents about anything without me feeling embarressed.