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ScarsOnTheSoul
June 16th, 2013, 10:55 PM
Hi everyone,

I am new here and would love to talk and get to know everyone! My eating disorder started (and yes I am still suffering with it) about a little over two years ago! I was cheated on by pretty much every relationship that I had been in and blamed myself! At first I just dieted to lose a few pounds, but then I cut out more and more meals and limited myself to safe foods and counting calories. I weighed myself after every ounce of food that I ate. I abused laxatives and would purge on the rare times that I ate. I refused to believe it despite all the comment that I received about being too thin! I lied about being depressed and self harming as well as trying to commit suicide! I felt zero love whatsoever and pushed everyone away! One day I was taking a shower and nothing was out of the ordinary, but then many minutes later I wake up passed out on the ground to firefighters and paramedics standing over me. This is when I went into treatment! I had to stay in the hospital for about a month and treatment for 5! When I arrived they told me that I went into minor cardiac arrest, my organs were shutting down, and my colon has irreversible damage. Once I got out of treatment I relapsed several times and ended up back in the same place. Countless therapy wasn't even helping and still isn't! I am in my own little world, just me and my best friend Ana. It's going to be hard to get out!

I am not here to have a pity party for myself or condone any behavior related to eating disorders and self harm. I am here to encourage support and love onto those suffering with this horrible disease! I am always here to help or even just as a venting buddy! I would not wish any of this on my worst enemy...it is a living hell! But we don't have to endure it alone!! <3

AppealToReason
June 16th, 2013, 11:33 PM
Welcome, Ashley.
Sorry to hear about your problems, but I hope you can come here to feel better when needed. I'm sure you'll help many people too. And you're right, no one has to endure it alone. I'm glad you're able to talk about it though. That was the toughest part for me to get past.
So, welcome to this strange family. :P

Miserabilia
June 17th, 2013, 12:05 AM
Welcome,I hope you find help and support here :)

ScarsOnTheSoul
June 17th, 2013, 11:19 AM
Thanks everyone! It means a lot! :) I can't wait to talk and get to know you all!

Altiier
June 19th, 2013, 05:47 PM
Welcome to VT, We're an odd bunch but you will find nothing but support here. I'm here anytime you need to talk! :D