Brian117
November 30th, 2007, 04:38 PM
First Id like to say, Im a fat ugly creature...oh phew, had to get that out into the world...
Here goes, When I was born in 1991, my dad and mom got devorced when i was only 2 years old, I really never had a dad around me (except when they decided he had to see his kids every weekend), i grew up with my mom, older sister, and older brother. Through my life i was always alone, by myself, my mom worked most the time, sister was at college, brother hates me to death, my (vulgar word) dad was never around (which i pray to God about because hes a very immature man....VERY!) All throughout middle school i was harassed, and tortured by bullies everyday, I try and tell my mom about them and she sometimes called me off of school and talked to the prinicpal on occasions, in 7th grade ive been gained a little weight, which i got made fun of, i even got made fun of by 3rd graders, in 8th grade i started hanging with girls which I also got made fun of, after dealing with them, I decided to turn Bi,at age 13 ive noticed i was getting mad, and sad alot, so i decided i was going into depression,Growing up without a dad i think made me Bi also, i never had a man figure around me my whole life. Starting recently, my dad started trying to come back into our lives, he always calls my mom and asks for money, and she sucks up to him saying yes, (which pisses me off because he brings over a 6 pack of beer and drinks about 5, and ciggerates everyday he comes over here) so God knows what the money my mom gives him goes to. Recently he got caught doing drugs in the parking lot of Home Depot, my stupid sister and brother bailed him out, (btw, my sister and brother are close to him, while i try to stay away) so im basically alone in this fight to stay away from him. I tell my mom I dont like him, and all she says back "Well brian, you just need to deal with it your whole life" I cry everytime she says that to me because no-one in my family knows how i feel about having him over.
Now onto my brother,...well my brother really never cared about having me around, most brothers would love to have a little brother, i never had anyone to play with my WHOLE life, everytime i say "Hi" to him or "Good morning" he just ignores me and keeps walking, when ever i do something that gets on his nerves, he throws a shoe at me or hits me so hard i get a bruise. Really not much to say about him except i hope he passes away.
Now onto my sister, my sister is really pretty cool, she talks to me, but RARELY plays with me, shes to busy with work and school now. and she can get really annoying sometimes.
My mom i feel closer to then anyone in the family, but latly shes been getting really angry at me, I do so much for her you dont understand, i do the dishes everyday, i make her bed before she comes home from work, i make her breakfast, sometimes lunch when she wants it, and then dinner, but shes pretty cool occasionally.
Now onto my life, Im now 16, i live in a (vulgar word) ghetto nighborhood with a drug house right across the street, cars blaring thier music every single minuet, i get homedschool because the highschool by me is reallllly bad, im in a depressed situation right now....im a fat lazy stupid kid that doesnt know crap about anything, i cant even look in a mirror at myself because i feel so bad about hurting the people around me and how they have to deal with a creture by thier side. Ive tried cutting my self before but i cant do it, every single day is like a accident waiting to happen before me, i have no social life, i hate talking to new people, meeting new people, being around teenagers, being around anyone actally, i have no fricking bedroom because no one gives a damn about me, i sleep on the damn floor in the living room, im embarressed to tell anyone anything about me, i sit somedays when im alone thinking about a better life i could have had if my mom never married my dad. I sit and thank god for the wonderfull life he gave me(NOT), i pray to him mostly every night asking for help in my life, he doesnt give a crap about me at all!! :mad: I weight like 210 lbs right now, because of me being depressed........OK I AM NOW FINISHED, THERE IS WAY MORE TO TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS. PLEASE SOMEONE KILL ME. :)
Wow, this post made no sense, hopefully someone can relate to it, its randomly worded. Please dont post anything like "You need help" or other crap, please be understanding and leave nice posts.
Here goes, When I was born in 1991, my dad and mom got devorced when i was only 2 years old, I really never had a dad around me (except when they decided he had to see his kids every weekend), i grew up with my mom, older sister, and older brother. Through my life i was always alone, by myself, my mom worked most the time, sister was at college, brother hates me to death, my (vulgar word) dad was never around (which i pray to God about because hes a very immature man....VERY!) All throughout middle school i was harassed, and tortured by bullies everyday, I try and tell my mom about them and she sometimes called me off of school and talked to the prinicpal on occasions, in 7th grade ive been gained a little weight, which i got made fun of, i even got made fun of by 3rd graders, in 8th grade i started hanging with girls which I also got made fun of, after dealing with them, I decided to turn Bi,at age 13 ive noticed i was getting mad, and sad alot, so i decided i was going into depression,Growing up without a dad i think made me Bi also, i never had a man figure around me my whole life. Starting recently, my dad started trying to come back into our lives, he always calls my mom and asks for money, and she sucks up to him saying yes, (which pisses me off because he brings over a 6 pack of beer and drinks about 5, and ciggerates everyday he comes over here) so God knows what the money my mom gives him goes to. Recently he got caught doing drugs in the parking lot of Home Depot, my stupid sister and brother bailed him out, (btw, my sister and brother are close to him, while i try to stay away) so im basically alone in this fight to stay away from him. I tell my mom I dont like him, and all she says back "Well brian, you just need to deal with it your whole life" I cry everytime she says that to me because no-one in my family knows how i feel about having him over.
Now onto my brother,...well my brother really never cared about having me around, most brothers would love to have a little brother, i never had anyone to play with my WHOLE life, everytime i say "Hi" to him or "Good morning" he just ignores me and keeps walking, when ever i do something that gets on his nerves, he throws a shoe at me or hits me so hard i get a bruise. Really not much to say about him except i hope he passes away.
Now onto my sister, my sister is really pretty cool, she talks to me, but RARELY plays with me, shes to busy with work and school now. and she can get really annoying sometimes.
My mom i feel closer to then anyone in the family, but latly shes been getting really angry at me, I do so much for her you dont understand, i do the dishes everyday, i make her bed before she comes home from work, i make her breakfast, sometimes lunch when she wants it, and then dinner, but shes pretty cool occasionally.
Now onto my life, Im now 16, i live in a (vulgar word) ghetto nighborhood with a drug house right across the street, cars blaring thier music every single minuet, i get homedschool because the highschool by me is reallllly bad, im in a depressed situation right now....im a fat lazy stupid kid that doesnt know crap about anything, i cant even look in a mirror at myself because i feel so bad about hurting the people around me and how they have to deal with a creture by thier side. Ive tried cutting my self before but i cant do it, every single day is like a accident waiting to happen before me, i have no social life, i hate talking to new people, meeting new people, being around teenagers, being around anyone actally, i have no fricking bedroom because no one gives a damn about me, i sleep on the damn floor in the living room, im embarressed to tell anyone anything about me, i sit somedays when im alone thinking about a better life i could have had if my mom never married my dad. I sit and thank god for the wonderfull life he gave me(NOT), i pray to him mostly every night asking for help in my life, he doesnt give a crap about me at all!! :mad: I weight like 210 lbs right now, because of me being depressed........OK I AM NOW FINISHED, THERE IS WAY MORE TO TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS. PLEASE SOMEONE KILL ME. :)
Wow, this post made no sense, hopefully someone can relate to it, its randomly worded. Please dont post anything like "You need help" or other crap, please be understanding and leave nice posts.