Self Harm Calendar

[japanman]

Ok good glad to hear ya fine now ^_^

[electric7rocker]

elliot how far did you make it?

now you know you can make it that far
this time try for longer, i know you can do it :)

[Vindication]

1 cut. Deeper than ever. Leg.

[[crazy]girl]

i realize i'm rarely any help, but..

whats wrong?

[Michael]

I cut once on my arm, I have no idea why, with a super-sharp kitchen knife. I hate myself for it.

[Otaku Geek]

4 deep cuts on my right arm

[Michael]

3-4 On my right arm, I think I did one on my left, I can't remember. I'm lonely :(

[Zan0ra]

Ash please stop.

[Otaku Geek]

over the days i cut i think my total is around 9 on my right arm 11 on my left arm 4 on my right leg 13 on my left leg and 2 on my stomach.

stomachs were shallow, the rest were deepish. I'd love it if no one commented, normally I'd like help, but I don't feel too gracious so don't bother. I wanted this off my chest.

[Michael]

10 Times with a hard rock collecter pin :|

[Michael]

3 times again with the pin. God I hate this hell

[Zan0ra]

:( Please stop micheal!

[thePianoMan]

Is there something about the pin that is making you do this, Michael? Get rid of it if it is doing something to you to make you cut. You might not even realize it. It sounds like something about the pin is bothering you though.

[Otaku Geek]

1 kind of small cut on my left wrist, 3 medium on my right arm (over-lapping other ones.) and 2 on my right leg. a burn on my lower arm a little above my wrist.

[Zan0ra]

Ouch! why did you do that?!?!!!1?

[Michael]

Is there something about the pin that is making you do this, Michael? Get rid of it if it is doing something to you to make you cut. You might not even realize it. It sounds like something about the pin is bothering you though.

It was the first thing I saw that was sharp

[thePianoMan]

It was the first thing I saw that was sharp

Ok, I just figured that since you used it twice, maybe there was something about it, besides that it was sharp. Sorry. Please stop cutting. Sorry.

[Xistrance]

42 cuts, top side, right forearm, mediumdepth, medium length.
12 cuts, underside, right forearm/wrist, medium depth, short length. across street.

2 hour reflection session. last ever set of scars these will be. admitting myself to hospital for my safety.

going to be nasty scars, but tbh my arm kinda looks like a whole patch of burn skin, like it was set on fire, u cant distinguish the different cuts only, when fresh and red.

[The Reaper]

14 arm

I'm not even going to count the ones on my leg, because the whole damn thing is in ribbons.

I feel like I fuck every thing up.

[thePianoMan]

:hug: I'm glad you turned yourself into a hospital for your own safety, Xistrance.

What made you feel like you fuck everything up, Caitlin? What happened?

[Ryandel]

Been a while.
6 deep
5 mid
3 bruised

Sorry Jose...

[[crazy]girl]

i thnk the summer is getting to everybody. what's going on guyss?

[Vindication]

Over the week that I've been at bible camp... about... 15 deepish, 7 medium and 2 shallow and countless scratches.

Correction: and 3 deep right now.

[electric7rocker]

fuckin like a million scratches...
that felt so damn good it was like i was eating chocolate cake
and then like an ass load of cuts
still not fuckin deep enough, but deeper than the last ones
more blood

i just wanted to go on for fuckin ever

[electric7rocker]

sorry for the double post but i think its been too long for an edit?

bunch more fuckin scratches
feels sooooo good
i feel high
i feel amazing

[Michael]

sorry for the double post but i think its been too long for an edit?

It's ok

bunch more fuckin scratches
feels sooooo good
i feel high
i feel amazing

It may feel amazing now, but you will regret it. I gurantee it. Just progressively get less on the cutting. Then it will be easier to stop.

[electric7rocker]

yeah i regret it... but it still feels really good
even now

like the night before last i cut
yesterday was a good day
then last night i did it
and todays really good so far

just towards the night
things go downhill, regardless of what happened the night before

[[crazy]girl]

yah, thats exactly how it is for me too. days i'm ok but 1/2 the nights suck. i dunno why. maybe you need to find something to do. read something, make something (i have far too many yarn braides in my room, but it helps)

[Vindication]

4 DEEP.

Like... an hour ago... idk. Sorry.

[Michael]

Three more ... I'm such a hypocrite

[Rusty]

5 or 6
Wrist/arm
Medium/Deep

Rusty

[paintballer42]

2 on my left arm one really deep
3 more on my right leg

i dont even know why i just needed to....

[electric7rocker]

i know what you mean i hardly ever know why
its just a craving

[Michael]

three yesterday...I wouldve posted sooner but I blocked it out.

[paintballer42]

another maybe 15 on my fingers on my left hand

[electric7rocker]

im really depressed right now

but i didnt bring any razors to my dads house which is where i am now
i have my safety pins
but every scratch i make i need two more
even though it feels delicious i can never stop

[Lithium]

Ten on each hand.

On the area where your hand meets your wrist, and the top of your arm begins to meet the bottom side of your arm.

[Vindication]

17 various around my legs.

[Ceilidh]

-2 times
-Left arm
-shallow

..long, complicated story >.<

[Silence]

Seven, two were deep.

[Ceilidh]

girl;337947']yah, thats exactly how it is for me too. days i'm ok but 1/2 the nights suck. i dunno why. maybe you need to find something to do. read something, make something (i have far too many yarn braides in my room, but it helps)
I'm exactly the same, I think it's because I'm around people during the day... and I'm normaly awake 'till 3am-4am so I'm on my own for ages before I go to sleep :(

[Michael]

4 times will do more later. Why the he won't I bleed?
IM NOT A FUCKING PRUDE IM NOT IM NOT AND YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND YOU ASS!!!!! (not a member)

[Vindication]

10. Legs. Number of days till reality strikes back. Sorry.

[thePianoMan]

:hug: Addison, please try to find another way to cope. You need to quit thinking about school so much. It is important, but it's not that important that it should put your health at risk.

[Vindication]

18 in various locations. kinda deep. Sorry again.

[Silence]

I'm sorry hun.
:hug2:

[Vindication]

I can't stop. Over the summer, there haven't been as many stressors and stuff but now, everything is coming back to life and as I was driving home today I felt like I was having a heart attack when I realized school is 10 days away.

I can't stop... And I cant tell anyone because I know they dont want to hear it again.

6 more...

[BeautifulSilence]

I can't stop... And I cant tell anyone because I know they dont want to hear it again..

I'm sure you could find someone to help you through this and give you support... maybe a close friend?

{HUGS}

[Vindication]

When I say no one, I mean, no one. My friends already told me to stop complaining after I tried to kill myself twice...

[thePianoMan]

Your friends aren't very good ones then, Addison. Friends are supposed to help each other. This is a bad situation with no one to help you. You shouldn't be alone through this, but it sounds like no one is there for you. You know we are here, but it's obviously not the same. Help over a computer can only go so far. I wish there were a way I could make you stop thinking about school, but there just isn't. Have you ever been perscribed anti-anxiety medication? I don't know anything about it, but maybe it would help you.

[BeautifulSilence]

Really? That's just... Who could do that, I mean it's ethically wrong!?!

Although, I have one friend who'll always tell me to "Shut up [something mean related to eating disorders]" when I mention food or that I've gained weight {which I don't openly talk about a lot, actually, pretty much never}

I'm so upset that friends would tell you to shut up, after you've been through so much... It's horrible. I suppose you'll just have to be as strong as you can whenever you can't get to VT.:console:

[Vindication]

6 cuts. legs.

[Silence]

Twenty nine.

[electric7rocker]

what happened tonight hon?

[Celeritas]

6 cuts. legs.

Twenty nine.


Aww. :hug: Is something up guys?

[Vindication]

19 not too deep.

[Silence]

Hang in there, and please be safe.

[george]

Aaww whats going on Addison?

[Dizco Lemonade]

1 deep as the grand canyon.

[thePianoMan]

Greg and Addison, what's going on? :hug:

[Vindication]

2 deep. Really, I am not seeing this as a negative thing. I was hoping that I'd do more, but I got a hold of myself and stopped for now. So, take it as you may.

[Vindication]

I know its a double post but whatever.

I couldn't contain myself. I though I was okay then my from and I started comparing schedules onMSN and i lost it... Sorry...

15.

[thePianoMan]

Addison, will you be able to stop when you go to school, or will it get worse? I am really hoping that school will turn out to be good and you will stop. I pray it does.

[Vindication]

Im sorry.

14 more. Im out of control.

[Uranus]

I think we need a virtual intervention.

[[crazy]girl]

I think I agree. We need to get to why you guys are feeling so badly
:hug2:
I know I'm a little immature, but I listen quite well, if you guys wanna talk... PM's open

[Vindication]

Wow I spam this thing up.

7 hard.

Well, considering without my light release through poetry and other things, this would have been much worse, I see this as a positive experience again. I am save. I am sure I would've done much more damage without the other methods of stress relief and school startstomorrow so assuming that goes well, my SH should slow down... hopefully.

[thePianoMan]

You're not spamming, Addison. I hope school goes good for you, at least better than you think it will. I hope school will be good for you and slow down, or even better, stop your self harm. Good luck! :hug:

[Michael]

Addi, you NEED to find other ways to channel your frustration, and your poetry is one. Maybe try upping your poetry to consume the void before school starts. And when it does, engulf yourself into it. Distract yourself with it, or anything, everything but injuring yourself. Please, please, please don't do anything you WILL regret.

[Vindication]

Sorry. 14 cuts while in school out of desperation and i vomitted twice...

[Patchy]

Addi you promised me you wouldn't go back to cutting.

As Michael said PLEASE try and find other ways to channel your frustration which do not involve hurting yourself.

[thePianoMan]

Sorry. 14 cuts while in school out of desperation and i vomitted twice...

Addison, this is a big problem, and you know it. If you are cutting in school, you really need to stop that. You should stop all together, but especially at school. Did something actually upset you at school, or is it still anxiety?

[Vindication]

yay spam...

do I really even have to say it?

[george]

Come on Addison, you don't spam this place. But you really should find something else to take your mind off of things like riding your bike more or like you've been doing, writing your poems.

But like Jared said, was it your anxiety or something specific at school?

[electric7rocker]

so were doing a project in art class that requires an exacto knife
and my dad decided it would be good if i worked on it at home too
so he went and pulled out every blade and razor he could find
theyre out on the table
ive been pretty good about resisting lately
but the colder days are coming and long sleeves are a natural.....



and addison
we all believe in you just keep trying :)

[Michael]

so were doing a project in art class that requires an exacto knife
and my dad decided it would be good if i worked on it at home too
so he went and pulled out every blade and razor he could find
theyre out on the table
ive been pretty good about resisting lately
but the colder days are coming and long sleeves are a natural.....



and addison
we all believe in you just keep trying :)

The fact that you can resist with such a monster temptation, is tremendous. There is no doubt in the whole world that you will never cut again, keep going; resist the long sleeves, soon your arms will heal, and be proud, show the world that YOU HAVE BEATEN ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL ADDICTIONS. From here, the road only gets smoother :) So proud of you, as is everyone here. :)

[Vindication]

So I dont know why I am still posting this, but i kinda feel obliged.

34.

[[crazy]girl]

Addison, stop. Please. STOP. You can, it's rather hard, true, but it CAN'T be impossiable. Can you find anything to help vent your frustrations, or even just talk about whatever is bothering you so badly

[thePianoMan]

Addison, you need to stop worrying about school somehow. I wish there were some way to get you to forget about last year and start over new, without any anxiety or anything. There has to be some way, you just need help to find it. It needs to stop, Addison.

[Vindication]

I tried.

8

FFS. why cant they just leave me alone?

[electric7rocker]

who?