View Full Version : how can i talk to girls more freely?

April 7th, 2013, 09:00 AM
Hey I had just started "Need Advice" but then I realized that in order to really date a girl ill need to be able to talk to her freely and openly without being shy.
Now my problem is that I'm not really self confident about my looks, so I feel that no girl would wanna talk to me so how should I start socializing with girls and even boys in general in school without them feeling awkward cause I'm not known to be much of a talker

April 7th, 2013, 09:44 AM
Just talk. Make small talk at first, get to know them better. If it's a girl, let her know you're interested. Flirt a little. If she seems ok with it, ask her out. Just be yourself, but not too yourself, because if you act too comfortable they might be weirded out.

April 7th, 2013, 10:22 AM
As the user above said, small talk, take an interest in the other person and find some common ground (there must be something you have in common)
just be casual and kind and then you might build a friendship.

Confidence doesn't come overnight but every little victory will help, and I think it's worth remembering that if things don't work out with one person, it doesn't mean it will never work out, take your time and be comfortable with your own decisions and try enjoy whatever is thrown at you :)

April 7th, 2013, 10:53 AM
Just talk! :) Most girls don't care about looks, but personality :)

I once got into this dump period. I was slamming everything about me. My looks, my personality, the way I did this, the way I did that, how I handled this, how I handled that, my family, pretty much everything I hated about myself. This got really serious as to I was thinking about suicide. I had no one to talk to. My friends were all turning, my mom was a problem at the time, I never talk to my dad, and the guidance counselors at my school never helped me. I had to solve it all myself. It was so hard to get out of it. I couldn't sleep, and I constantly felt sick. I then focused on the one thing about me I have always felt confident in, which was my intelligence. My grades were always at the top of my class, I was always helping others with homework. This is what pulled me through. I focused on how smart I was. But that still didn't help. I still thought "Well, who would miss me?" That's when you have to imagine. Exaggerate is you must. Brag about yourself. Brag and brag and brag until you feel better. Wouldn't you rather be known as the "Bragger" then be known as the "Dead One"? Find one way people would not be able to survive without you or why they would miss you. I thought, "Well, people won't get my homework help and their grades could drop." This wasn't entirely true, but it pulled me through. I focused on raising my spirits (my intelligence) and why I should live (helping others). That pulled me back. I got my life in order and then snapped back to reality: that no one really needed me in life. People would go on, but I would never have. Do what it takes to get you through.

Okay, so I guess you didn't need that drama filled story...But here can be the moral: Build your confidence and focus on one good thing about you, no matter how big or small, and make THAT the most attractive thing about yourself. Bring up your confidence and shine through at least one good thing. :)

April 7th, 2013, 12:26 PM
BebeFleur your story seems to be just like mine and tbh even I have started to brag a bit so that people know that I exist at least. I used to have a hollow feeling inside me and my appetite reduced a lot, I couldn't sleep and I used to cry at night in bed but then I talked to my dad and he told me that see the positive side of things and not the negative eg- its good that u know ur friends won't be there for u from before rather than getting to know when u need them

April 7th, 2013, 01:42 PM
Just talk(: And people love to talk about themselves. If you feel like the conversation is turning awkward, just ask her/him something about themselves. "What's your favorite movie?" then when they answer, ask why. eventually you will find something that you and that person have in common, that you can talk about all the time and have a real conversation! (:

April 7th, 2013, 04:00 PM
It takes time. To get out of your shell in general, do something that scares you. So say you're scared of saying "Hey whats up?" To a girl, just go up and say it.

I know this is a stupid example. But I remember I was scared to death of wearing a new style, when I was half way to school I was about to go back home and change. But I didn't. After that day had finished, I was in a complete shock cause I noticed no one had really cared about my new style, there were a few snarky remarks, but nothing serious (that new style was shorts with the Nike crew socks).

What you should do, is catch the person you like alone, and just make small talk with them. There is no way you're going to overcome your fear unless you do that fear, but start small. I say try to catch her alone, because many girls and guys aren't the same when they're with their friends. Sadly, the reality is, is if you're not as popular as the girl or guy you like, then they will not talk to you in front of their friends. But they will alone. I have some experience with that (although most of the popular girls at my school are actually nice and will talk to anyone).

April 8th, 2013, 01:26 AM
Well Just ask her about her day first