Concerned about little brother

[Rob_Howard]

I'm a little bit concerned about my younger brother. He's 11 and in 6th grade, and is a little bit like me. But, anyways, He has ADHD (He is exremely hyper, even on meds), and He might have something else, I don't know.

But, he's been going downhill for a while now, and it all started back early this summer. We had just moved, and our neighbor (who is very strange, has about 20 pets and is a chain smoker) allowed her kids to play with my brother. Well, that worked nice for a bit, but then my brother got stupid: He used my dad's portable blow-torch to fry some ants. She noticed my brother and her kids behind our garage, and went to check on them, and saw my brother with the torch, and she just about went off the deep end. So, my mom did some research, and found a well-known pediatric psychologist, and took him there, and has been doing so every one or two months. He was okay for a while, but then a month before school started, he started stealing money from family members. He stole $60 from my mother's purse, $30 from my sister, and about $15 from me. He also began to steal small objects from rooms, such as my computer mouse, my sister's game, and a few other things. To me, he pretty much shoots first and asks questions later, and he barely fears anything, so he just does stuff without thinking about it. He also managed to ditch school, but it was because he woke up late, and didn't want to get in trouble at school, so he thought that if he didn't go to school, nobody would noticed. Well, his little trip up caused a police APB, and a Police Search helicopter to go looking for him, which they eventually found him at the library reading comics. I mean, he doesn't try to do stuff on purpose, he just can't mind himself. He's not a bad person, But the way he's going people might think he is and stuff.

What should I do??????? I just kind of feel that because I'm his older brother, that makes me responsible for him and I try to help him, but he doesn't really like it when I do that. Even though he is usually more of an annoyance to me, I still try to help him.
Any suggestions?

Hes just been going downhill for a while, and I am seriously concerned about him, I don't want to see him do something stupid and get himself hurt or in trouble with the law.

[Maverick]

Is he still seeing the psychologist? If he is the best thing to do would be for your parents to tell the psychologist what's going on and the psychologist can work with your brother to see what the problem is. There can be a number of reasons why he's acting that way but the right thing to do is express your concern to your parents and get the professional help he needs so these problems wont escalate as he gets older. Leave it to the professionals to figure out what the problem is because if your parents aren't able to have things under control with him, some professional intervention is needed.

[Underground_Network]

Is he still seeing the psychologist? If he is the best thing to do would be for your parents to tell the psychologist what's going on and the psychologist can work with your brother to see what the problem is. There can be a number of reasons why he's acting that way but the right thing to do is express your concern to your parents and get the professional help he needs so these problems wont escalate as he gets older. Leave it to the professionals to figure out what the problem is because if your parents aren't able to have things under control with him, some professional intervention is needed.

QFT

But also, if you really want to do something to help (in reality you can't do anything major to help him though) you could explain to him the difference of wrong and right. Be a role model, help make school seem fun, teach him as well as you can that stealing is wrong, and that it hurts people. Tell him that you don't want him to get hurt or in trouble, that you love him, and you always feel so upset, so guilty, whenever he gets in trouble. Make him sad if you have to, make him feel guilty, he'll realize he doesn't like feeling guilty and perhaps change his ways, but if you want him to seriously change, he needs professional attention as Anthony said.

[Rob_Howard]

Is he still seeing the psychologist? If he is the best thing to do would be for your parents to tell the psychologist what's going on and the psychologist can work with your brother to see what the problem is. There can be a number of reasons why he's acting that way but the right thing to do is express your concern to your parents and get the professional help he needs so these problems wont escalate as he gets older. Leave it to the professionals to figure out what the problem is because if your parents aren't able to have things under control with him, some professional intervention is needed.

Yes, he is still seeing the Psychologist but not as often since he is expensive ($180-$200 an hour), and is seeing the school Guidance Councilor and Social worker, and even our Pastor, and they suggested trying to improve his self-esteem.

QFT

But also, if you really want to do something to help (in reality you can't do anything major to help him though) you could explain to him the difference of wrong and right. Be a role model, help make school seem fun, teach him as well as you can that stealing is wrong, and that it hurts people. Tell him that you don't want him to get hurt or in trouble, that you love him, and you always feel so upset, so guilty, whenever he gets in trouble. Make him sad if you have to, make him feel guilty, he'll realize he doesn't like feeling guilty and perhaps change his ways, but if you want him to seriously change, he needs professional attention as Anthony said.

And I've also been doing that (actually, everyone in the family is trying to help out). he's not a bad person, he just can't help it. I try to help out, but I've been a little off lately, I'll be very stressed out, and he'll try to make a bad joke or do something, and I'll accidentally yell a little at him, and then he walks off with "that look" and then I get a little off some more because I didn't mean to yell at him; Some days I'll be nice with him, Do a little bit of PS2 with him or do a LAN computer battle, etc. etc and do stuff with him. I don't know, but Maybe this has something to do with boredom or trying to express feelings? Well, anyways, I don't know (agian) but I think him being in Boy Scouts, and Me being in CAP will help him because in BS (Boy Scouts, not the other one =D) and keep him busy.

Thanks for some responses to this problem.

[IAMSAM]

Well, Gros, after the time we've spent together talking, I really believe your first priority is taking care of yourself, there's enough going on for you where that should be your highest priority. It's nice to hear that you're concerned about your bro, and maybe there's still something you can do for him, while not derailing your plan to take the best care of yourself.

If your bro has a prob recognizing that he's showing really bad judgement, then you can be his eyes and ears. Tell him when he's missing something, when he's doing something that's really inappropriate or just plain wrong. Be nice, be the mature older bro, find a way to say things so it doesn't sound like criticism.

With your folks, I''d suggest you do the same, fulfill the same purpose. Tell them when he's really 'off', express your observations and concerns to them. Encourage them to get him to a therapist, maybe find a cheaper one that can see him, and them, on a regular basis (Once a month isn't frequent enough).

Remember that you cannot 'fix' him, but being aware of his 'issues'/limitations means that you have a responsibility to respond kindly and patiently when he does his 'thing'. And remember to tell your folks, because ultimately it's their repsonsibility to try to correct whatever is going on with him. Just give everyone the most info you can about what it is that you're seeing so they can do right by him.