View Full Version : The joys of having extremely bad OCD

April 15th, 2012, 05:46 PM
So, I consider myself to have pretty bad OCD. Initially, I could cope fairly well with it, and it consisted merely of repeating a few stupid rituals throughout the day. Now, however, it affects pretty much every aspect of my daily life, and I don't know how much longer I can continue with it without me going batshit insane or it developing into something worse.

I do the following:
-Count to 7 or in sequences of 7 while doing everyday things
-When reading a book, having to read sentences over and over again, usually in sequences of 3.
-Having to wash both of my bands 3 times each, and exactly 3 times each, every time I wash my hands.
-4 and 6 are bad numbers; they must be avoided at all costs.
-Extreme paranoia, and the feeling that everyone wishes me evil
-After having a conversation with anyone, having to analyze it (usually 5 minutes or so per conversation, no matter how small) to see if there are any hidden messages or see if anything was said that could hurt my feelings. You can imagine the impact of this in every day life.
-Feelings of extreme anxiety when around friends.
-Analyzing every new bit of knowledge that I gain deeply, to see if they'res anything more to it.
-Random, intrusive, disgusting thoughts, esp. randomly thinking about friends or family when masturbating; not in a sexual way; they simply pop up for no reason whatsoever.
-Suicidal thoughts
-Random, deep bouts of sadness, sometimes causing me to cry. I will be doing something completely normal when all of a sudden a wave of sadness hits me and blocks every other thought out.

We're talking pretty much 3/4 of my day being spent dealing with this bullshit. If I don't do anything of the aforementioned rituals, I feel extreme discomfort and feel that I won't be able to get on with my life until the rituals are fulfilled. Added to that, random panic and anxiety attacks while doing the most mundane things. I'll be going to a psychiatrist shortly but I don't see how medication can help this unless it knocks me out completely and leaves me unable to make thought processes.

April 15th, 2012, 06:13 PM
Well having an OCD can be tough, and I hope all goes well at the psychiatrist. Good luck

April 16th, 2012, 03:11 PM
Dude! I had OCD like that before. I was miserable and tired alot! Man you got to overcome this order! I have been to therpy for 3/4 ths of a year. I have learned and realized a lot of things. For example dont you feel proud of yourself after you do something obsessive? I realized thats the anxiety giving you a treat. That encourages you to do more obsessive things. Dude you got to overcome this anxiety! there is always hope. know that. I will be prayin for you.I understand your pain andsorry4u.msgme 4 hlp

April 16th, 2012, 03:21 PM
Thanks, I will :) What medications did you take, if any?

April 16th, 2012, 03:29 PM
READ FIRST DONT ANAYLZE CONVERSATION ONLY TIME TO THAT IS LIKE YOUR READING A RIDDLE OR SOMETHING. I am not trying to offend you at all. Every conversation you have with someone is not a riddle. all this lol 2 months of therpy LOL! anyways dont count obsessively because NOTHING BAD GONNA HAPPEN!! Tell yourself nothin gonna happen. Your anxiety wants you to be miserable and tired. Whenever anxiety do this or you will die. tell it to shut up! IT CANT CONTROL NOTHING, IT CANT CONTROL THE FUTURE,etc.LOLNOSPACE

April 16th, 2012, 03:32 PM
prozac and ocd requires dose antidepressants

April 16th, 2012, 03:37 PM
If I don't give in to the obsessions, I'll spend the rest of the day worrying about not having done them (or thinking about not having done them). That's why I do them at least- to prevent thinking about not having done them during the whole day. Whether I will think about them the whole or not I dunno, it's just what keeps me giving in.

April 16th, 2012, 03:44 PM
i mean ocd requires higher dose of antideppresant. i dont what your religon is, but pray to who you need to to help you. i prayed recived alot of help. but becareful, if you are gonna become more riligious, some religions require people to be obsessive. theres nothin wron with number 4 and6 bro. There not bad numbers.ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING TO HAVE. BE OPENMINDED DONT RESIST THE THINGS THE THERAPIST TELLS YOU OR YOU NOT GONNA GET ANYWHERE. BEAT THE ANXIETY BY SAYING SHUT ANXIETY WHEN IT SAYS YOUR GONNA

April 16th, 2012, 03:48 PM
I'd read that antidepressants have a huge list of side effects though, and that when you stop taking them it can get worse. Are you still taking them? Also, I forgot to add the number 8 to the list, that's probably the worst for me.

April 16th, 2012, 03:55 PM
DIE. if something the anxiety says comes true its just a concedence. do physical/mental things to calm yourself. BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHIN BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN WHEN YOU DONT DO OBSESSIVE THINGS. TRUST ME BRO IVE HAD ALOT OF EXPIERENCE. DONT GIVE IN. BEAT IT! STARVE THE OCD TO DEATH BY STOPPING DOING OBSESSIVE THINGS. ive have made alot of progress getting rid of ocd like this. DONT GIVE IN I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET RID OF THIS ANXIETY.

April 16th, 2012, 04:00 PM
Should I attempt to stop completely or try and lower it down gradually? Also, what's better in your experience, therapy or antidepressants?

April 16th, 2012, 04:03 PM
i gtg yes i do and i know that there alot of side effects but your just gonna have to take it. its true if you stop taking itll get worse but dont freak out if you forget, because the medicence lasts longer than a day.i dont know how long each medicine lasts ask your therapist so you can prevent anxiety attack. ok gtg good luck. there is always hope bro dont give i believe in u

April 16th, 2012, 04:05 PM
Thanks, you were really helpful :)

April 16th, 2012, 04:09 PM
take it slow and both ocd is not gonna go away in 1 day.can i get your full name so i can pray for you with my classmates?

April 16th, 2012, 04:15 PM
That's really nice of you, but I don't give out my full name on the Internet, sorry :( Still I appreciate your goodwill, it's recomforting to know that they'res people like you around that are going through the same shit.

April 18th, 2012, 06:10 AM
Should I attempt to stop completely or try and lower it down gradually? Also, what's better in your experience, therapy or antidepressants?

I've been dealing with OCD for about 2 and a half years now and I've managed to make some headway. When you're feeling the urge and the anxiety to do a ritual whether it's counting or specific routine just change it ever so slightly. then STOP. Ask yourself if it's too much anxiety/obession to do the ritual in a different way. If it's too much then redo the ritual and try again next time. If you feel like you can walk away without too much trouble then just walk away.

It does take willpower cause you might still obsess about it but little by little you can change your rituals to be less intrusive and maybe even get rid of rituals all together eventually. And if you can walk away force yourself to smile :) it releases endorphins that make you feel a little better which can help you associate walking away from a ritual with feeling good instead of really really shitty.

I just don't recommend Paxil. Made me feel like shit, even though I could have sex for hours without cumming; it just wasn't nearly as good of sex.

April 18th, 2012, 01:07 PM
The doctor prescribed me some meds, lets hope they work :)