Fear of molesting a child?

[starsinhereyes]

My cousin watched a movie a few weeks ago about child molesters and since then I have been horribly distressed that I am going to molest children. I can hardly eat, sleep in my own bed, (i have to sleep on the couch) or have a healthy relationship, although I have been with my boyfriend for one and a half years. All of the thoughts are focused around my little brother, who I love more than anything else in the world, and I imagine how it would feel and then I usually either cry, throw up, or have a panic attack. I swear on my life it also feels like I am getting turned on by the thoughts, which disgusts me more than anything else in the world. I feel weird touching my little brother, like holding him or playing games, especially giving him baths or changing his diaper.

I have never been treated for OCD, because I am a minor I have a hard time finding places which will see me, but I have been known to have other things wrong, like depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I also do things in my head such as correspond letters with numbers, so if I hear a word that appeals with me, I have to correspond the letter with the number the letter is in the alphabet. For example, if someone said "yes." i would think in my head " 25, 5, 20." and I cannot shake it no matter what. I believe this is OCD but I am not quite sure. The child molesting thoughts have about sent me over the edge, but I cannot find anywhere for mental help. I am completely lost as to what to do.

[Everglow]

Honestly..I don't know what to say. I mean, like I've never had any sexual feelings for children. Perhaps you are not having those kinds of urges, but rather you're being empathetic toward your brother? If I'm talking crazy..correct me, please. Well, from what you are sayin, your brother is young..a few years old...and well, pedophiles are very interested in young boys and girls....so maybe because you're the older sister..you can't bare to fathom your brother being molested? I mean the thought of it makes you want to spew your brains out..ok maybe not that bad, but you get the point...hopefully.

As for the ocd bit..I have absolutely no idea...seems like ocd is just another excuse for parents to not deal with their children's problems. That's just my opinion at least...but if you seriously have an obsession with such activities..then perhaps you do have some sort of mental issue...if not then you just have a strong liking for numbers and such.. Talk to your parents about it...

[babyfish13]

oh im so sorry. but i have the same fear of my niece. i always think what if i do. and it is scary but you just have to belive its not. and just get a theropist. it really does help and if you get on medication. you fell even better but here is some help from my theropist.

1.if your mom or dad go to a diffrent room and leave you two together alone for a few mins stay in the room. this wil show you if you think you did you didnt because your parents are there but not in the room. also rate you aniaxety 1-10

2.try to play with him and have a good time. rate your aniaxity 1-10

i hope this helped you a little if you need to talk just message me. you will be ok always rembember that.