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View Full Version : Not sure if I'm schizophrenic...


AnotherOne
September 7th, 2011, 11:07 PM
Or if this is just anxiety / depression... Either way it's scaring me beyond belief...

About a year ago I started to experience de-realization and de-personalization, the feelings as though you're seeing things from outside of yourself, and as though the things you're looking at aren't real... As though they're sort of in a blur of sorts, like I'm constantly weirdly dizzy. It's a pretty exceedingly difficult thing to describe : p...

Over the year I've been constantly experiencing this strange feeling, and it's seemingly only gotten worse over time. Fortunately the de-personalizatoin side of it seems to have gone away on it's own, but the de-realization is definitely still there.

A few months ago I finally decided that the massive anxiety that the fear of what this feeling was actually due to was causing me warranted a trip to a therapist : p..

However, he said that he's about 99% sure that I'm not schizophrenic, and that my symptoms sound more-so leaning towards anxiety and severe depression.

Over this year I've also been becoming more anhedonic, a lot more depressed, and a ton more anxious about this feeling in specific and what it's doing to me... Social withdrawal, not exactly... I just don't do stuff with people as much as I used to because I can't find it fun anymore. This could be due to the depression I've been diagnosed with, or the anxiety, or both...

Well, problem is I've tried anti-anxiety pills, they do make me stop worrying about the feeling just a bit, however regardless, it's still there... I'm also now on anti-depressants, however my anhedonia only seems to be getting worse, and I'm not exactly feeling any happier, nor is this dissociation getting any better...

So the long and short of it is (Yeah I realize I type way too fucking much, sorry about that : p), this could all be due to anxiety / depression, yet, despite the fact that I'm trying to treat both of those, this feeling still doesn't seem to be subsiding...

I'm wondering if this is *extreme* anxiety that seems to have randomly onset over the year... I'm not hearing voices, nor am I having delusions save for the fucking derealization.

And yet I still fear I am immensely, I constantly hear music playing in my head that I've recently listened to over and over again, but apparently that's just called an "earworm", I.E a jingle that you can't get out of your head. I also have minor OCD, so it could be related to that. Apparently though this happens to everyone... I also think to myself in my own voice, I like to imagine things and situations, think about stuff throughout the day, but for the most part I'm just worrying over what's going wrong with me, if I really am going crazy... I feel like I must be going insane. And yet, my therapist disagrees, and he's the one with the Ph.D, not me : p... The constant recurrent worrying and general negativity apparently could be caused by Anxiety / Depression though... Apparently other then that, that's normal thought process, yet I get myself worked up over it so fucking much...

The problem is that in public I'm a completely normal person to be around. I have friends, social obligations a girlfriend blah blah blah, I'm funny, and happy around people, though in reality that's just a front... I put all of my fears out of my head as best I can when I'm with other people, although they do tend to get worse in social situations...

When I'm not worrying about this most all of my thoughts are negative, but that's mainly due to my shitty past, upbringing and current situation which I won't go in depth about. Therefore yet again, sounds like it could just be depression and anxiety...

But the one thing that still makes me un-sure is this fucking derealization. Apparently it can be a symptom of severe depression, but I'm not so sure... And if it is, why exactly is it that despite taking these anti-depressants, they aren't doing shit all for it?

Long story short, from what I've written here, from people who actually know the illness themselves, does it sound like I'm actually schizophrenic, or just exceedingly anxious and depressed?

Thanks in advance.

AnotherOne
September 11th, 2011, 05:46 PM
Would someone answer me, I don't care if you're not even 100% sure, any input is appreciated...

Jakezilla
September 11th, 2011, 07:45 PM
Maybe you should see a psychiatrist. Or just tell your parents. Everytime I tell my parents about something i'm worried about, it always makes me feel better.

IcarusLives
September 13th, 2011, 01:38 PM
Redacted.

aprilshowers
August 31st, 2012, 02:24 PM
I don't really know if you have schizophrenia or not, but it's a really complicated disorder so maybe... In any case, you should tell someone if it's really bothering you. Even if it isn't schizophrenia, you might have another disorder, so seeing a doctor might be a good idea

DerBear
August 31st, 2012, 02:32 PM
Please don't bump old threads :locked: