View Full Version : Freaking out!

June 19th, 2011, 02:04 AM
So as you my have seen me post before, I am bisexual and I have only told one friend plus you guys. But my dearest friend may have found out and she hasn't called or texted me in a while. Am I just over analyzing this?

June 19th, 2011, 06:15 PM
I think you need to tell her. I told my best freind Jessica when i first cam out and it was great and she has been a "rock" for me. If you hang out with her long enough, pretty soon she well chatch you checking out the other guys. So i think you might as well tell her.

Dark Sparrow
June 19th, 2011, 07:10 PM
Just talk to her in person about she probally just want to hear it from u

June 19th, 2011, 08:12 PM
I personally think you may be over analyzing a bit. You should just see her and tell her in person, then you will know for sure. That's just what I think...

June 21st, 2011, 11:31 PM
I think you need to tell her. I told my best freind Jessica when i first cam out and it was great and she has been a "rock" for me. If you hang out with her long enough, pretty soon she well chatch you checking out the other guys. So i think you might as well tell her.

You know what's weird? My friends name is Jessica too. And her boyfriend's name is Tyler. Haha

I don't think I can bring myself to tell her. I'm so scared that I will lose her when she finds out. And on top of that, I have been lying about my sexual orientation so she probably wouldn't trust me even if she did get over it. Secretly I hope that she does find out so I don't have to keep it in. I have to constantly censor myself in front of her whenever I see some attractive guy or when someone asks me a question like "if you where gay..."

I almost want to change myself. But there is no changing it. The day I realized I liked both sexes, I was so upset. I hated myself for it because I knew that there would be a long road of pain and secrecy. Wish I could just give up men. I get so depressed just thinking about her rejecting me. I was in tears the other night because she posted a status about liars not deserving friends. That was when she stopped talking to me so I was so scared for our friendship. But she started talking to me again. But something's different. Ether she is keeping something from me or she knows... I hope that she does know so I can stop worrying. And if she does, I hope I am confronted. I hate lying to people.

Give me some pointers. How do I gently let her know?

June 22nd, 2011, 04:37 AM
Well, I'd say you should casually bring it up in conversation. Drop little hints. Be subtle about it at first. If she doesn't pick up on it, I'd come right out and tell her. Like ripping off and band-aid, quickly. Just be blunt. I'd rather not give you lines to memorize but I'd advise you to sit down and think about what your are going to say before saying it.

June 22nd, 2011, 08:07 PM
I have only come out as bi to a couple of friends. My two best friends (girls) were extremely supportive. My one friend i knew wouldnt care, but the other one i worried myself sick over if she wud quit on me or whatever. But it turned out she is extremely supportive because she loves me for me. The point is i worried over nothing

June 22nd, 2011, 09:29 PM
When i told Jessica we were are the park, just hanging out, and i said something like -- "your my best friend, you know that, right,??? and i want to tell you something and ask you something too. I think i am bisexual, but not gay... what do you think about this? Jess looked at me really seriously and I was getting ready to laugh it off, then she smiled (that sweet warm smile) at me and said “I have known that for a while or I have known you were not straight”

I thought it was going to be very awkward, and I really had to work up the courage to do it, but after that it was great. I told my best friend and she was very accepting and supportive. It was AWESOME. The whole weight on keeping my secret was lifted off me, and I did not have to be “on guard” or feel like I had to censor my self and pre-think what I wanted to say anymore around her. We could even talk about cute guys, at the mall and stuff ( when it was just us ). I think best friends just know this stuff, and she is just waiting for you to tell her. Even some of my guy friends knew / suspected, and we have grown together and they are all cool with it now, I only lost 1 friend but he came around.

Only you know her and your relationship with her.. it’s a hard thing to do and NO other than you can decided when and who to tell. BUT once you do and they accept it is wonderful. If you want to drop hint ask what she think about Kurt (Chris Coffer) on Glee, or something like that. IS your Jessica gay friendly? What ever YOU decide to do due, I hope it works out for you. Everyone here on VT will help and support you, in your decision.

June 23rd, 2011, 07:32 AM
Frankly, I am a chicken, plain and simple. When I started coming, out I had to tell everyone over texts and chats. I know that that isn't usually the best way to do it, but my anxiety can't get me to do it to their faces, I don't know why. Anyway, if you are really scared of what she will say in person, then don't rule out a text or instant message as a second option. All the friends I have told, some I consider good friends, others are just people I see in the hallways at school, but they all support me, and so far I haven't lost anyone. Unlike Tyler though, all of my friends were shocked, and they had no idea (I guess I hide it well), but ultimately it is up to you on what you should do. The only people so far that I am going to tell in person is my parents. My dad and step mom know, now I just need to tell my mom and step dad. But I know they will be supportive. Anyway, it is up to you to decide how you should go about telling her. It will be an enormous weight off of your shoulders, that is for sure, and you will feel so glad that you did. :D Let us know how it goes. I hope this helps.

June 23rd, 2011, 06:38 PM
Craaap! We talk like every day and the last time I talked to her, it was a while ago and I asked her if she wanted to come over. She said "let me see if I can get a ride" and never called me back. :( so I called her back like 3 times. No answer unless her brother picked up the line. And he told me he would have her call me when he saw her. But nope, I feel like I'm being ignored. I really hope not.

Btw Tyler, she is NOT gay friendly. I live in a rural area of michigan so there's a lot of ignorance here. :-/ and she at one point told me that she wouldn't be friends with someone who is gay.

June 23rd, 2011, 08:16 PM
If she is a true friend, she will not stop being your friend because you are bisexual. A true friend cares for you no matter who or what you are. I she cannot accept you for your orientation, she probably isn't a very understanding or good friend.

If you feel comfortable, you should definitely talk to her in person! Saying it to her might mean more in her mind that just a text or an email. Make is a personal endeavor.

June 23rd, 2011, 11:39 PM
I'm so scared I can't even tell you. Lol and if she already does know, I think that she must be blowing me off because I lied to her over several occasions rather than the fact that I'm bi. but I don't know if she would trust me again. And thats what I'm also scared of. Okay, I'm going to mentally prepare myself. Because once I can tell her and my family, I will be able to tell anyone. Shes the biggest roadblock. Who knows, maybe she will surprise me. You know how people say things they don't mean. And hopefully, if it goes well, she will have a change in heart about homosexuality.

June 25th, 2011, 11:41 AM
I hope it gos well when you tell Jessica,,,, and its a HUGE... HUGE step... and alot of risk and reward,,,, But if you keep putting it off and living the lie it just so much more pressure and stress, and worry on you. Once you tell her and she accepts the fact you well feel so much better..... and have a friend to talk to about it and stuff, and help you make the "coming out" alot easier. I hope. I wish you best of luck. Let me / us know how it goes.